Thursday, April 23, 2015

TBT: The Beau Hunk Update

*Originally posted March 2012*
  -Click here for the first installment of the Beau Hunk saga
Sometimes, as a mother of teen girls, you are simply left shaking your head. There are no words, no comfort a parent can offer or give a teen daughter who seems to flourish in her own drama. In your heart, you want to help the pain go away, however any efforts will be deemed as "butting in" and "none of your business". Teens. Gotta love 'em.

So what's a (step)mother to do? Stand aside. Watch from the shadows. Text "love you"s and make small talk to avoid the big, bad, ghostly Beau Hunk who's sitting in the middle of the room.

Event #1: Beau Hunk still has not left for boot camp. He's still here. Here's where the miscommunication took place... Hubs and I were told he was leaving for boot camp. To us. that means a flight directly to the military check-in. Pardon us for misunderstanding. Apparently, in teen language, it means he was flying out to spend a couple of months with his father before boot camp. Our bad.

Event #2: The night before "shipping out" to his father's, father and son had an altercation over the phone. Beau Hunk's father cancelled the airline tickets. No visit. At all. Yeah, he's not winning Father of the Year, but lucky us! We get to enjoy the turmoil Beau Hunk inflicts on D2 for two more whole months. We are all certain it will be a pleasurable 61 days.

Event #3: The young couple is blissfully happy for a brief period.

Event #4: Beau Hunk breaks up with D2 for the 17th time. De-friends both her and D1, so neither of them have access to his FB account. Brilliant on his part. His FB page is completely public. Regardless, D2 is devastated. The walls in our home shook as she grieved her loss. Again.

D2 is hopeful the relationship is once again salvageable. She is still wearing the promise ring. After all, why not go for round 18? Where's the harm in that? It seems to be the cycle of teen drama.

I can't wait for May.

Monday, April 20, 2015

What Does Your Husband Do?













Last week this doctor's wife was out and about running a few errands. Over the course of the day, I found myself chatting it up with another woman as we waited in a long and slow moving checkout line.

We spoke of small, normal chitchat; the weather and items on sale, with long pauses in between. There was no real bonding going on- just pleasantries.

But, then after another pause, she hit me with the big gun. She asked, "What does your husband do for a living?" I hate being asked this question. The truth automatically bestows a stereotype upon me. I don't sit around drinking mimosas by the pool all day. My normal start time is 2 o'clock. {for those of you who don't know me well enough- that was a joke!}

I paused a bit to think this through. She was a stranger. Did I really have to divulge this information? Do I really need to expose myself to the unspoken, underlying thoughts of "must be NICE", "she's rich", "she's got it made", yada yada yada.

Because, then comes the follow up question which is even more damaging and nosy than the first one: "What kind of doctor is he?" To which the answer, a surgeon, conjures up visions of yachts and helicopters to some, not the reality of our 1997 minivan or our 2000 SUV who (yes, "who"- our cars have names) continue to serve us well. Yes, we have other newer, "luxury" cars, but nothing close to a Ferrari or Lamborghini, I assure you!

So, do I open myself to this silent (and sometimes, not so silent) judgment of my life?

No. No. I don't.

I suppose I could have fallen back on my routine answer, "He works at the hospital." But, this time my brain randomly came up with a new answer. With an ever slight, somewhat confessional nod, I simply replied, "He sews."

It was the first time I ever received a pity nod of the head and a despondent, "oh" reply.

I loved it!! It's my new go-to response!!!


Thursday, April 16, 2015

TBT: The Beau Hunk

My husband is too nice to say some things. I'm not.

Case in point:

Beau Hunk look alike
Daughter #2's Beau Hunk. I think it's fair to say no one in our family is particularly fond of him, except for my mother who, after eating dinner with him said, "He's not that bad".  He's GTL all the way. I didn't know what GTL stood for, but LB (Little Buddy) brought me up to speed - Gym, Tan, Laundry.

Well, I do a little of the G, none of the T (my blood work up says I'm actually vitamin D deficient), and a whole helluva lot of L.

I had always envisioned having the girls' boyfriends around the house, going out to dinner as a big family, laughing and carrying on. I thought we could all enjoy day trips together...maybe get to know his parents well...maybe even a weekend trip. I was going to be a cool mom..a hip mom. I wanted that idyllic picture. I wanted to love (or at least like) my girls' boyfriends.

Well, it's not happening. Nope. Not at all. At least not to this point. D1 never had a high school boyfriend and she's flown the coop. Not going to happen with Beau Hunk, so I have to hang my hopes on D3.

{Originally, I listed all the reasons I take issue with Beau Hunk here in this paragraph. I self-censored my post to save my hide should D2 ever discover my blog. However, I'll give you a clue. Imagine you have a teen daughter...think of all the things you would never want a boyfriend to do to her. That should sum it all up.}

Beau Hunk finally did something positive with his life when he and D2 were on a "break". He joined the Marines. YES! Good for him! He finally did something honorable! I think the military will help him mature and develop a better life perspective. They will break him down and re-build him. He needs that. If their relationship survives this separation, I'm confident he will be a better person after completing his service.

He leaves for boot camp in two weeks. D2 has been asking us to invite him over for dinner. Up to this point, we have been brushing off the dinner. Neither Doc H or I really want to spend time with him, but being that he is leaving soon, we agreed he could come over for dinner.

Dinner day was upon us and I was out running errands with the younger D3 for the afternoon. I return home and ask Hubs where D2 is. He tells me Beau Hunk came by and they decided to take her new promise ring (yes, he gave her one two weeks before he ships out) back to the jewelers to get sized. They'll be back for dinner.

We have other younger ears in the house, so Hubs leans towards me and we whisper the following conversation:

Hubs: He came over just wearing shorts and barely there tank-top.
Me: Did you tell him to go put on some clothes?
Hubs: No, (brushing it all off) it's okay...he's just real immature and doesn't know better.
Me: Well, I'll tell him!
Hubs: No, don't. (Seeeeee.....he's too nice to say anything)
Me: He can't come over to have dinner with us and sit at the table half naked. That's gross! I'll tell D2 to tell him.
Hubs: No, she'll get mad.
Me: No, I'll put it nicely. I'll text her.
Hubs: (sounding defeated) *sigh* I guess.

So I text:
Hi D2, we will be having dinner just after 6pm. Could you please ask Beau Hunk to wear a t-shirt rather than a tank top? I would really appreciate it.

They came back for dinner. He was dressed in clean shorts, a nice t-shirt, and a baseball cap which he remembered to remove half way through dinner after I kept staring at it...on purpose.

It takes a village, people. It takes a village.





Monday, April 13, 2015

Why, Yes. I Did Go To The Gym.

Thanks to all for the warm reception back! You all are awesome!

Today's breaking health news is this... I WENT TO THE GYM!!

Yes, after what was probably a 2 year absence, I bravely ventured back into the gym which has been gladly accepting their incredulous, sinfully high monthly dues despite my lack of appearances. Back when Doc H and I signed our family membership to this hoity-toity club, we went with the following mindset...
"This place is so outrageously expensive it will propel us to work out all the time! We'll be in the best shape of our lives. We WOULD NEVER pay so much and not utilize our membership!"
Are you laughing? Well, at least it's a family membership and our four kids (now two college, and two high schoolers) have used the place almost regularly. 

I sheepishly mounted a treadmill in the furthest and most remote corner of the gym in complete fear of a treadmill fail worthy of YouTube glory and infamy. I was after completely anonymity. So, it should've come as no surprise when, after twenty minutes, sweaty as can be from just walking, I looked up from the built in TV and saw D2 looking bright eyed, bushy-tailed, and beautiful smiling and waving at me! 

She couldn't understand what I was doing at the gym. *Okay, I get it... I'm totally out of shape.*

When I returned home, I summed up my trip to the gym in a text to Doc H...


God bless my Doc H for being supportive. And the fact that he took the time to add emojis just warms my heart!

Maybe I'll go back tomorrow.


Thursday, April 9, 2015

Is Anyone There?

Heh-llllooooooooo????

{echo}

{echo}

{echo}

It's been a llllllooooooonnnnnngggg time. Apparently, I needed a break. Or perhaps I felt like blogging needed a break from me. Every blog post I wanted to write was already written. I didn't want to sound like a broken record, a scratched CD, or whatever can go wrong with an iTunes file.

So I sat.

Silent.

But, in all honesty, I didn't just sit. 

I cooked- sometimes for two, sometimes for eight (the six of us plus two boyfriends). And many evenings I didn't know if for two or eight or any number in between.

I cleaned, decorated, undecorated, threw birthday parties, hosted house guests, attended medical conferences, attended hospital parties, danced with my husband, danced with our daughters, drove miles and miles and then even more miles.

I've assisted our high school senior prepare and submit over fifteen college applications. I've stressed over application deadlines, the weight of three college tuitions and one private school tuition. I've burned hours of my life preparing and submitting financial aid papers, because school require it. I've meet with bankers to open a HELOC loan, and explore private college loan options.

We're still visiting colleges and universities, and I'm still grappling at night with the idea that junior college might be the way to go. I mean, is $55,000 per year really worth it for lower division courses?

Additionally, and even more emotionally draining, I've dealt with all the drama a large extended, close knit family has to offer. This past year, it's been more than I care to admit. So, I simply won't.

I've been to traffic court, civil court, and even criminal court. We've been through two car wrecks (thank God no one was seriously injured), one being a hit a run, who was chased by one of our daughters and ultimately pinned down in a parking lot. That girl of mine has balls.

I've been offered two job positions, but have declined to continue working our start-up.

But, I have been missing you all. My life's been crazier than ever. How about you??






Thursday, August 21, 2014

Back to High School


It's back-to-school time around our parts... and not only for the kids, but for the parents as well.

Last night, Doc H and I went to the our youngest kids' back to school night at their high school. Our youngest daughter is now a senior and our youngest (the one and only boy) is a freshman. 

The school structured the night like an old-fashioned (not their regular block schedule) school day. Parents were instructed to follow their kid's 7 period schedule for 10 minute periods to meet each and every one of their teachers. When the bell rings, parents have 5 minutes to get to the next class before the bell rings again. I attended my daughter's senior classes, while Doc H attended my step-son's freshman classes. 

It kind of felt like high school when we ran into one another in the crowded hall. We shared a big smile while we reached out to touch each other as we whizzed by each other. I felt a pang of nostalgic high school puppy love race through me. High school was great, wasn't it?

And then it REALLY felt like high school when I realized his ex-wife was trailing right behind him, following him... trying to catch up with him. 

Screw high school.





Thursday, July 31, 2014

Divorce and Shots

After a quarter of a century, a dear friend of mine confided she is filing for divorce. This is no surprise, as her husband has proven himself a terrible louse of a husband.

In our younger years, we would have spent the three hours sharing our personal drama as we drowned ourselves in liquor. Now we simply drowned ourselves in calories... burgers, cheese, bacon, avocado, fries, cake, ice cream, whipped cream, and even raspberry sauce. For some unknown reason, we held off on the sweetener for our iced tea. I suppose it was our show our restraint, self-control, maturity, and a healthy respect for our diets.

Tears fell as we shared our marriage melt-down stories. I shared my experiences with my divorce, lawyers, dissomasters, and MSAs. Then, finally, my girlfriend got down to the nitty gritty.

"It's been over twenty-five years since I've been out on a date, not to mention had sex with another man," she said in complete disbelief. "How did you do 'it' with a guy after your divorce?"

I'm guessing her thoughts were being influence by the doctor wife label I carry with me as I honestly said, "I had lots of shots before."

Her eyes lit up, "Oh! Are there shots for STDs now that I need to get?! I didn't even know that! I'm so out of touch!"

I rolled my eyes. "Noooooo. Tequila shots!"

We sat across the table staring at each other.

And then we burst out in laughter. We laughed until we cried. And those tears felt good.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Bonehead

I'd like a face-to-face the impatient bonehead who paged Doc H at 2:02am this morning. And, before you go pounding on me for calling out a poor resident... I'm pretty sure this was NOT a resident. We all know they are moving about the country right now.  Plus Doc H is pretty forgiving when it comes to residents. He was not all that forgiving with regards to this one.

At the pager's demand, Doc H immediatley extracted himself out of our bed, made a bee-line for the rest room where he splashes some cold water on his face in an effort to make sure he's awake to make sound decisions. This action takes no more than 60 seconds. In all honesty, it's probably more like 30 seconds.

As I lay listening to the bathroom water run, and despite the stabbing pain of the pager to my eardrums,  I'm desperately trying to retreat back into my dark and dreamy cocoon.

At this point, I'm feeling pretty confident about my chances of beating this particular battle against the pager. Doc H is tip-toeing around in the bathroom. The kids are sleeping, the dogs are sleeping, and  the annoying mocking bird who has decided to take up residence in the tree outside our bedroom has even quieted his nocturnal squawks.

Approximately thirty seconds ago the pager went off. Doc H is preparing to return the page. Other than his stealth-like movements, the house is still.

I exhale, giving my body permission to relax and meld itself with my bed. I'm making my way back to dreamland.

Thirty seconds, maybe sixty.

Home phone begins ringing incessantly! Thank God, I don't sleep with a loaded gun on my nightstand. The phone sitting on my nightstand would've found itself with more holes than the sweater I tried to knit for Doc H last Christmas after returning home from my annual eggnog-a-thon night with my bunko gals.

Seriously.

I don't even bother putting a stop to the ringing. I allow it to continue ringing. I realize my shortcomings. I have nothing nice to say at 2:02am. I mean, I love Jesus, but I'm pretty sure even Jesus can appreciate the importance of sleep at 2:02am. And, I don't want to be the one to set off the inferno that burns bridges at the hospital or with any of Doc H's colleagues... even as enticing as that may seem.

However, I realize a person's life might be at stake. If the hospital is CALLING my house, I assume someone is DYING, BLEEDING INCESSANTLY. So, I let Doc H take care of it without giving him grief. I've never asked that he sleep in a different room when he's on-call, I've never yelled at him to be quiet, or chastised him for turning on lights when he's had to return a page. I call it my "supportive tolerance" of this craziness.

With the pager and phone call less than a minute apart, I deduce a critical emergency is in full throttle. I fully anticipate Doc H to turn on lights, race to the closet to dress, bang around a bit, and run out the door.

Instead, I get a slow, dark stumble back into bed and a huffing gruffling from my Doc H.

Non-emergent test results do not require paging AND CALLING A DOCTOR'S PERSONAL RESIDENCE at 2:02 in the morning!!!

Bonehead. Bonehead.








Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Balance in medicine

Hi Friends!

Today I'm thrilled to share some exciting news! Our Medical Monday friend and medical intern, Eniola, has published her first novel! Below she shares her background, a brief synopsis of the novel, and even a GIVEAWAY! Please enter and support Eniola as she debuts her novel!  ~ YDW


Balance in medicine...

When I was in medical school I was pretty obsessed with medical school and all things medical. One day,  I realized that I needed balance in my life. So what exactly did I do to find balance I wrote a novel about being in med school IN medical school. 
Medical school was a very interesting and exciting process. I wanted a memorial for that period in my life so I began to catalogue my experiences in what became my debut novel, Still. See right before I started medical school, I was going through a challenging period of my life. I found love,  an adopted family, and a lot of excitement in medical school. That is why I have probably idealized the time period in my head.
In my third year of medical school, in my quest to find balance,  I realized I had another side of me that I allowed to die. You see I used to write when I was younger. I would cop y novels I read like Baby Sitters Club and Sweet Valley High and try and pass then off as mine to my sister. She was not amused.  My childhood home was littered with half finished manuscripts. I read everything and I was inspired by everything to write. 
When I got into medical school, writing was pushed to the side while I concentrated on my career. Until I suddenly realized that I did not have to stop writing because of medical school. Then I found a perfect outlet for both sides of my personality with my novel Still. The stories being told around me in my friends’ lives, in my colleagues’ lives and my life inspired me. 
Writing in medical school was an interesting experience wrote immediately after I got back from the wards, right before I had to study for third year examinations (NBME shelves) and I squeezed in time in between rotations. And I enjoyed every minute of it. It made me realize that 1. Pursuing other things I was passionate about outside of medicine was possible. 2. If it was important I would make time for it.
 See I was so used to giving my family, friend, and acquaintances the tried and true catalogue of excuses
I am busy. I have to study. I don’t have time. 
Then I realized it WAS possible to make time outside of medicine if it was important to me. Writing and publishing my debut novel Still has been a rewarding experience not only to me but to other people that I have been able to connect with me through my blog. Publishing a novel made my life a lot more busy but more balanced. Even as I went further in my medical career, Still  is the baby I have outside of medicine. Yes it WAS about medicine and it reminded me about medicine but it wasn’t medicine. 
We are not wired to be fulfilled by a singular activity and because medicine meant so much to me I used to live my life like that. Now I know my heart is big enough for other stuff… at least I think it is.


About the author 

Eniola Prentice is in her intern year in Virginia. She enjoys writing on her blog eniolaprenticewrites.blogspot.com, reading other novels and dancing in front of her full length mirror. Still is her debut novel and she hopes her writing compels people about God’s all encompassing love. 

About the novel 


A NOVEL
A broken soul, 
an alcoholic, 
a certifiable genius, 
a Christian man 
and a secret that will destroy the bonds of their friendship. 
When self-proclaimed atheist Fadesola, gets into medical school she believes that it’s a fresh start of sorts for her. Until she discovers  her class mate is charming and handsome Tayo Smith, a man she encountered in a violent moment years ago. This revelation shatters Fadesola’s already fragile emotional state but hope comes where she least expects it. A seemingly innocent friendship with Tayo’s friend, Ladi, slowly develops into a smoldering relationship with both afraid to acknowledge their mutual feelings. Things get even more complicated when Nikky, Fadesola’s classmate and friend, ignores her desperate warnings and decides that Tayo is the man she is meant to be with. However, within the complexities of this friendship these flawed individuals will experience God’s redemptive grace in a setting each believed his love would never find them. Still, the first book of a four part series is a coming of age story about navigating through medical school in the first year, complete with hilarious hook ups and breaks ups, legendary parties and incessant studying, and experiencing the triumph of success and disappointment of failure. 
Eniola Prentice, in her extraordinary debut novel has written a gripping and thought provoking story that examines Christianity, mental illness, suicide and alcoholism. 
You can get your copy of the novel on Amazon

To celebrate the release of her debut novel, Still, Eniola is running a giveaway contest open to residents of the United States. You can win a free signed copy of the novel, a $40 Amazon gift card and a mystery gift. You can enter the giveaway below. 

Giveaway.  


a Rafflecopter giveaway

Sunday, May 18, 2014

The Email

Being that Doc H was on-call this weekend, I was prepared to tackle the weekend activities solo. 

Saturday went fine. I visited family, shopped and Doc H and I even made it out to dinner... together!

I was quite content.

Sunday rolled around and as I do from time to time, I went house hunting online. Per Doc H's encouragement, I shop for my dream house as encouragement and motivation to keep punching away at our company. According to him, since I'm working solely on stock options with no salary, it's good for us to have a visual goal. 

My goal is a house twice our current 1800 square foot home with a barn. 

But, because we live in a high cost of living area, it's purely a pipe dream. Whatever. It's always good to aim high, right?

For the first time in months, I found a house that excited me and it was being held open! I decided to go take a look while he was working. As I planned out my day in my head, I decided I would email Doc H the link to the virtual tour and ask him if I should wait for him on the very off chance he could accompany me to the open house.

Do you feel where I'm going with this?

He emailed me back right away; so fast, I'm sure he didn't even check out the link I sent him. He replied, "I have to operate so go ahead without me". Note the lack of punctuation. That is a clear indication of his level of busy. 

All of the sudden, I didn't want to go see the house alone. One email, and I went from being excited to look at the home, to thinking a solo tour of the home would underscore the fact that I was ALONE. 

So, I didn't go.

I spent the afternoon at home... typing out this post... while eating chocolate.... while thinking I should start swimming for exercise.... tomorrow.

pffft.


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