#1 Upgrading to First Class on a "DEAL"This was very exciting to me! Only my second time (1st time was due to a mistake by the airline and FREE) and Doc H and I thought it would be a good idea to upgrade based on these two notions: extra leg room, and we would arrive completely fresh and relaxed. No leg or neck cramps for us! Or so I thought.
I don't think I'll ever fly again without some compression stockings. Midway through the oh-too-long flight, I could feel the blood pooling in my calves and they cramped up anyway despite the extra 6 inches of leg room. I made countless unnecessary trips to the lavatory just for an excuse to walk about the cabin.
I'm pretty sure the two female doctors who were sitting directly adjacent to the lavatory had me diagnosed with a urinary track infection by the way they shoot a little half-smile at me each and every time I struggled with that darn fold-up door. In the South, you would call that scrap of a smile a "bless her heart" pity smile. In my neck of the woods, it's a "I'm sure as sh*t glad it's you and not me" scoff.
#2 Fly First Class and You'll Arrive to Your Destination Fresh as a Daisy
|The culprit of my staleness|
Even my love and adorable Southern Bell M-I-L...
SIDEBAR: (who doesn't normally drink- she even lives in a "dry" county. -BACK THE BUS UP AND THROW IT IN PARK!- I didn't even know there was such a thing until I met Doc H and he warned me of this unfortunate circumstance after I had agreed to fly out there for a visit. Now that is a crazy way to live in my book. There are days I could take a bath in sweet tea and it still wouldn't soothe my problems like a rita or a tini or a glass of vino would.)
...confessed she had a glass of Chardonnay (well, she called it whaaa whaaaaan) the one time she was put in first class. So when the flight attendant came around offering champagne before take-off...Well, you...I took it, and asked for another, and after that, I moved onto a Mimosa, and so on , and so one.... I felt I had to get my money's worth of first class freebies!
Let's just say I now have a little better understanding of Alec Baldwin's Words with Friends fiasco.
While I was able to walk off that plane, I was no no way feeling fresh or relaxed. I needed a nap - STAT!