Tuesday, April 24, 2012

That Fresh, First-Class Feeling

We made it to Maui and I learned a few lessons on the trip out. I thought I would share this newly acquired wisdom so you could benefit from my mistakes and misconceptions should you ever find yourself considering paying the extra moo-la for first class.

#1 Upgrading to First Class on a "DEAL"

This was very exciting to me! Only my second time (1st time was due to a mistake by the airline and FREE) and Doc H and I thought it would be a good idea to upgrade based on these two notions: extra leg room, and we would arrive completely fresh and relaxed. No leg or neck cramps for us! Or so I thought.

I don't think I'll ever fly again without some compression stockings. Midway through the oh-too-long flight, I could feel the blood pooling in my calves and they cramped up anyway despite the extra 6 inches of leg room. I made countless unnecessary trips to the lavatory just for an excuse to walk about the cabin.

I'm pretty sure the two female doctors who were sitting directly adjacent to the lavatory had me diagnosed with a urinary track infection by the way they shoot a little half-smile at me each and every time I struggled with that darn fold-up door. In the South, you would call that scrap of a smile a "bless her heart" pity smile. In my neck of the woods, it's a "I'm sure as sh*t glad it's you and not me" scoff.

#2 Fly First Class and You'll Arrive to Your Destination Fresh as a Daisy

The culprit of my staleness
Doesn't happen that way. No matter how much of a "deal" you received on your first class upgrade (even if you got it FREE), it is impossible to say no to any of the perks available in first class.

Even my love and adorable Southern Bell M-I-L...

SIDEBAR: (who doesn't normally drink- she even lives in a "dry" county. -BACK THE BUS UP AND THROW IT IN PARK!- I didn't even know there was such a thing until I met Doc H and he warned me of this unfortunate circumstance after I had agreed to fly out there for a visit. Now that is a crazy way to live in my book. There are days I could take a bath in sweet tea and it still wouldn't soothe my problems like a rita or a tini or a glass of vino would.)

...confessed she had a glass of Chardonnay (well, she called it whaaa whaaaaan) the one time she was put in first class. So when the flight attendant came around offering champagne before take-off...Well, you...I took it, and asked for another, and after that, I moved onto a Mimosa, and so on , and so one.... I felt I had to get my money's worth of first class freebies!

Let's just say I now have a little better understanding of Alec Baldwin's Words with Friends fiasco.

While I was able to walk off that plane, I was no no way feeling fresh or relaxed. I needed a nap - STAT!

30 comments:

  1. Hahaha! The first time that I flew first class was on the way home from a medical school interview in Chicago. I was really tired and hungry, and Rich (the ex-fiance banker guy) used his points to bump me up into first class. I remember the most memorable part being that the stewardess brought me a warm blanket and then, we got a hot meal for dinner. It was a short flight (2.5 hours), but all of the fussing over me and little perks were EXACTLY what I needed at that moment!

    And then, I started med. school, accumulated debt rapidly, and never flew first class again...

    :)

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  2. This was great! First Class does sound great even in spite of the drinking and Alec Baldwin can't go a few years without a major public meltdown anyway. Hope Maui itself was a great vacation. Erin

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  3. Very cute, great information! Love the "bless your hear" smile!

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  4. ALWAYS drink your money's worth, I say ;)

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    Replies
    1. Well, that's what I thought! I tell you, I drank as hard as I could!

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  5. Hahahha. I haven't flown in years. I feel like if I did now, I'd need to drink. A lot.

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    1. To get over the Atlantic, I'd need first class, booze, Xanex, and ambien... in that order.

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  6. "Wha Whaaaaan"

    Love it! She sounds like my mom's family.

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  7. Haha! Well better to need a nap because you had too much free alcohol, than to need a nap because you were sandwiched in a middle seat in coach and paid for way too much alcohol to get through the ordeal ;)

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    1. Yeah, well, the drinks weren't exactly free- we didn't get that great of a deal. But, I calculated it out and I think I drank enough to get the cost down to $20 a drink. :(
      We flew coach on the way home.

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  8. Ah... first class is what everybody needs ;)

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    Replies
    1. I agree! But, Doc H and I flew home in crappy coach, just to bring us back down to earth.

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  9. Wait - they have BATHROOMS in first class?!? The people in coach just go in their seats! Wait... that's just me?

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  10. I hate to fly. I am a horrible flight passenger. So I drink. A lot. And then I annoy everyone around me for the entire flight. Last time, Mr.McHunky slipped me a Valium. I woke up 4 hours later when we landed. I remember nothing. He's a smart man.

    And I love the new blog design! It looks fabulous!

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    1. Me, too! I need strong narcotics to get me across the Atlantic. Luckily, I know I few docs who can prescribe such meds.

      Thanks re: the blog design! I am super excited about it! Trying to get "professional". HA!

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  11. I flew first class once and it was so lovely. I grew up next to a dry town. But a whole county? Good grief!!

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  12. Yeah, I'm guessing no flight leaves you feeling fresh and relaxed...unless you're nice and drunk :) Love "Whaaaaa Whaaaan!" Ha! :)

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  13. Flying to Hawaii is a looooong flight (I did it once). I can see how just one little drink could set you up for a boozy flight :D

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  14. Oh yes, it is a looooong flight to Hawaii (did it once). I can see how one little pre-flight cup of bubbly can set a course for a boozy ride :D

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  15. They say never drink and drive but there isn't any rule against drinking whilst flying to Maui! (-:

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  16. I get to fly business class back and forth between Abu Dhabi & New York and I swear to god, I never want the plane to land. It's not EVEN first class and is nicer than most of apartments I've ever lived in (and the food is way way better). Drinks? Oh yes thank you very much; a little sparkling water, oh absolutely; a chilled soup to start? mmmhmmm.... and on it goes. Fifteen hours of pretty much bliss.
    And then we land at JFK and the bubble breaks with a HUGE reality slap. sigh.

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  17. I get to fly business class between Abu Dhabi and NYC when we go back and forth (not on my dime, duh) and it's bliss. I never, ever want to land. It's nicer than any apartment I've ever lived in - and the food is better. I tell myself each time that *this* time I won't drink more than one glass of (really good) champagne and each time...oh, yes, please, I'd love another glass, and yes, please, that warm chocolate souffle, too. When we land at JFK I pretty much sob b/c I don't want to get off the plane.

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  18. I get to fly business class between Abu Dhabi and NYC when we go back and forth (not on my dime, duh) and it's bliss. I never, ever want to land. It's nicer than any apartment I've ever lived in - and the food is better. I tell myself each time that *this* time I won't drink more than one glass of (really good) champagne and each time...oh, yes, please, I'd love another glass, and yes, please, that warm chocolate souffle, too. When we land at JFK I pretty much sob b/c I don't want to get off the plane.

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  19. I got upgrade to business (never 1st, woohoo!) on a trip to Germany, and I swear I thought I was ruined for regular air travel ever after. I wasn't, but boy was it nice. Prosecco before takeoff? Why yes, I will! :)

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  20. I've never flown first class. It's on my wish list of 'things I just have to do'. One day... *sigh*
    I'll bet you needed a nap! Too funny!:)

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