Thursday, May 17, 2012

A Divorce Tale: When Your Teen Daughter Modifies Her Custody Agreement

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Once again, we're in transition. My daughter, D3, has decided to modify her custody agreement by moving home for good. I am over-joyed to say the very, very least! Up to this point, she has lived a shared custody agreement. On paper, it's been 50/50. In reality, it's something else. If you're divorced or a step-parent, you know what I'm talking about.

I am proud of D3. She has found her voice. She has found her strength. I understand all too well how difficult her father can be and how scary it must have been for her to broach the subject with her father. Apparently, after the short conversation, he said nothing. She could tell he was mad (most likely hurt). He immediately dropped her off at my home. That was it.

Years ago, my girlfriends who grew up in divorced families all predicted this would happen. They have lived D3's life and collectively agreed one home in high school was best for both them and the custodial parent. They only had to check in with one parent, and didn't have to consult a custody schedule to make social plans with friends. Moreover, they confessed it was harder to get away with teen nonsense. They found they couldn't play each parent off one another or find a way to "slip through the cracks" to go out with friends when one parent said "no". In hindsight, all my girlfriends agreed one home in high school was for the best. 

According to D3, nothing specific has lead to her decision. She simply want all her "stuff" under one roof. She has been living the life a nomad...packing and unpacking...constantly. Who can blame her for wanting to live in one place? 

I'm so excited to have her home...all the time!!!


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14 comments:

  1. Yay! I've never been in this situation, but I can't imagine how hard it would be. I'm glad that she has one roof to make homebase now!

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  2. congratulations to you! found you via the this little momma link up :)

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  3. Yep. 17 was the age my stepson moved in with his father and me. At the time I had a 17 day old. As I recall, they both ate a lot and slept a lot. Happy for you!

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  4. Congratulations! That is wonderful news. I can't imagine how difficult having your children part time must be, or how as a child having two homes she could ever feel "at home".

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  5. Thank you for being a co-host! I am a new follower! Can't wait to take the time to read your highlighted posts! I love your vibe! Please come over to www.caveprincess.com.

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  6. How wonderful your daughter found her voice. I know as a mother to a daughter, you hope they'll be strong enough to fight for what is right for them. I hope your ex can remember to act like an adult and not hold her decisions against her. BTW...love your new header :)

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  7. I've been in your daughters shoes..It's a ridiculously hard thing to decide. Its tough packing up your clothes and basically living out of a suitcase. I think my relationship with my dad definitely suffered but I feel that my life opportunities grew.
    Stopping by from Fun Fri Blog Hop, pop by and say hi: http://todolistmom.blogspot.ca

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  8. I'm happy for your daughter. New follower from the Fun Friday blog hop. Hoping you can stop by my blog
    evescrochet.blogspot.com Have a nice weekend.

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  9. glad she found her voice & enjoy having your DD under your roof much more!

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  10. As a reader, I can feel the fierce love and pride you have for her. I'm happy for you and for your daughter.

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