Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Marriage- Take 2

Originally written as a Guest Post for Rebecca at Iridescent Indigo.
Rebecca asked I write about the most romantic moment Doc H and I have shared. 
This is what poured out and onto the keyboard...

I was so honored when Rebecca approached me about writing for her new series. I must admit, I have given this post an extreme amount of thought... maybe too much thought because paralysis via analysis set in. You see, the notion of romance in my thirties and forties is very different from the romance of my twenties.

Photo Credit
In my twenties and in my first marriage, romance was a grand gesture. I was proposed to in front of 325 people. In my thirties, with Doc H, there really was no proposal. This was "Marriage- Take 2" for each of us. We both had children we had to put first and our relationship was second behind their well-being. Instead of a proposal, in the office bedroom of his house with the door closed and our children screaming like monkeys at the zoo just outside the closed door, we made an agreement. 

We agreed to marry, to create a stable environment for our young children, to build a life together, to build a relationship which would withstand life's hardships, to care for each other, nurture each other, forgive each other, support one another, appreciate each other, love each other, and be each other's best friend... and indeed, Doc H IS MY BEST FRIEND.

Having both experienced the feeling of a disintegrating marital relationship, we recognize the easy pitfalls spouses fall into. Even though he's never said as much, he realizes he spends much more of his time on the job than the majority of husbands and he actively works to make up for his absence. Simply put, he spoils me rotten.

I can't name any of my friends who receive weekly flowers, dinners out, and the same level of support from their husbands as I do. Very rarely, do I get any grief from Doc H for any of my decisions.  Who else receives such gorgeous gifts for every gifting occasion? And my ultimate favorite... who else writes such wonderful cards, expressing his love for me, our children, our family, and displays such a sense of gratitude for any and all my efforts? I don't think I will ever find a husband who would send his M-I-L a card on Mother's Day expressing his gratitude to her for birthing his wife and raising her to be the perfect fit for him.

I suppose I could write of the romantic trips we've experienced together, trips to the beach, concerts, breakfasts in bed, or other events in our life, but I really think it's the little things which he does for me time and time again... the cup of coffee he brings up to me while I'm just getting up or in the shower, laughing at my stupid jokes, allowing me to laugh at him, allowing me the freedom to just be me.

While I sometimes wrinkle my nose at the hours Doc H works, or the phone calls and emails he fields in our presence, I honor and support his work. It is his passion, and makes him happy and I want him to be happy, I want  him to laugh. I can only hope Doc H feels my love, just as much as I feel his.


11 comments:

  1. This is a great post! I agree it's the little things. And, it's so easy to get so caught up in the day to day grind and forgot to incorporate the small nice things. This is a nice reminder!

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    1. Thanks, Stacie! It's always the little things!!!

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  2. Aww, this is really sweet. Sometimes people take the little things for granted. I'm glad you see how special they are! :)

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    1. Oh my goodness, yes! They are special and I cherish them!

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  3. This is my marriage take 2 also.... but no previous children to work into the mix. Your DrH sounds an awful lot like mine. He is so sweet, and I know when the time comes he will spoil me just the same. He already does just in different ways. Another beautiful post.

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    1. Yay!!! Love those wonderful, kind, docs!!!

      Thank you!

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  4. This is such a sweet post... I love it. I think you're right that romance doesn't always have to be a "grand gesture" but that alot of times the romance is in the details. I've been married for just over a year, and I'm definitely still trying to figure it out. I think this post helps me to feel like marriage only gets stronger and stronger if you do it right. I just found your blog and have loved looking around and getting to know you better. I'm excited to follow along!

    new follower :)
    bonnie
    bonnielouisa.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks, Bonnie and welcome!!! I look forward to exploring your blog!

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  5. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, you're my hero and I haven't even met you (in person) yet! Such a lovely love story. I hope my marriage is as strong as yours is,

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    1. You're so sweet!

      Maybe we'll meet at a conference! I know what you look like, so if a lady who's limping along in designer stilettos comes up to you and asks if you've effed your husband real good lately, you'll know it's me. I'll be praying it's you and not some random doc wife. hehehe!

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  6. I just read this post on a friend’s suggestion. She did so because I too am on my second marriage (five years into it) and have found it to be a huge improvement from my first and perfect for the life I want to have right now. I love how my second husband appreciates the work and effort I put into our family (my two kids and his one). He goes to great lengths to show his thanks and I love him for it. It really does encourage me as I know my work isn’t going unnoticed. So I’m glad to hear that you too are happy in your second marriage. Maybe it’s the fact that we have more experience handling marriages or perhaps it’s the fact that we are a little older, but somehow this second marriage seems a lot easier, as though there aren’t a lot of unknowns.

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