As I opened my car door this afternoon, heat visibly wafted from the car. In a rush, I plopped myself in the drivers seat, turned the engine on, rolled all the windows down, cranked up the a/c, and touched the little button on my touch screen to turn on the driver's seat a/c.
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Suddenly, my spine stiffened. The hair on the back of my neck stood at attention. I thought to myself, "Wholly crap. What was that? Thanking God for coochie air conditioning? Really? Who am I? Oh, my...I sound. Snobby."
I decided right there and then I wouldn't tell a soul.
But, let me tell you, it doesn't take long for people to become accustomed to such absurdities. I'm not the only one.
Here, let me throw Doc H under the bus, too.
Let me remind you, Doc H was on a diet of powdered Hostess donuts, Yoplait yogurt, and frozen TV dinners when we met. He was a culinary misfit and deviant. His scientific mind believed in "calories in, calories out". Nutrition meant nothing to the Doc. Insane, I know.
When we met, we would happily frequent eateries such as Boston Market and Chili's. Then our finances began to stabilize and we began dining at more upscale restaurants to mark special occassions. We liked it. The food was yummy, fresh, and organic. Our finances continued to improve. If we weren't eating at home, we would eat out. We began scouring our area for fantastic restaurants. Our palates were shifting towards refined. We became "foodies".
We shifted from our diet coke and iced tea to glasses of house wine. That grew into glasses of specific bottles of wine. Then came bottles of wine by winery, type, and year. Yes, we're far down that road.
But here's when I knew Doc H was well down the road to snobbery:
We found ourselves at the local Applebee's with all the kids. All six of us were seated reviewing our menus. Doc H and I were seated directly across from one another. While the four kids were chatting and/or bickering away, Doc H quietly called to me from over our brightly illustrated, laminated, and easy-to-wipe-clean menus:
Doc H: Honey?
Me: (still reviewing the menu and not looking up) Um-hmmm?
Doc H: You know... I really don't want to eat at restaurants with pictures on the menu anymore.
So we don't, or at least, I try not to when we are out with Doc H.
It's a slippery road. One I'm not particularly proud of...

That coochie AC will come in handy when the hot flashes kick in.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sure that's right around the corner... :/
DeleteWe are with you! Wine and food snobs. But like you, we started with nothing and know what it's like to be struggling (neither my husband nor I got a real job until we were 30 due to graduate school and post-docs, although that's not as bad as medshcool!). Now almost 20 years later we like to enjoy the good stuff. We are not stuck up about it (as I'm sure you are not) but it's how we choose to celebrate our long awaited success. We have been known to pour wine we don't like down the drain. Life is too short! I only have a butt warmer though, not butt a/c!
ReplyDeleteOh, goodness gracious, Stacie! I would NEVER pour any wine down the drain!! Next time just cork it and send it to me! HAHAHA!
DeleteI highly recommend some butt a/c! Especially interesting when wearing a short skirt.
I've heard those butt cooling A/C things are to die for! Sadly, as I write about on my blog, I am of the med.-school-debt-you-will-never-pay-back generation, and I will never have nice things. :(
ReplyDeleteYour day will come when you too can cool your peaches at the touch of a button! Your day will come!!! :)
DeleteRed, I didn't even go to med school and I still have the debt I will never pay back. =( No butt AC for me, either!
DeleteTim refers to this as "a luxury, once tasted, becomes a necessity." It is a slippery slope and we are well on our way. Let me tell you, living an hour from Napa and Sonoma hasn't helped!
ReplyDeleteI wish I had coochie air conditioning in my car! lol.And I love restaurants with pictures...including McDonalds...because when I don't know what the hell it is I'm reading I can look at the picture and feel happy that it's not anything inedible...
ReplyDeleteThat being said working hard, and indulging isn't something to be ashamed of. Rest assured other people do it too, even those without a lot of money (Ahem me...lol) because every now and then people crave a little cold air on their coochie.
Doctors work pretty hard to get to where they can afford the nicer things. If you've earned it, enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteHaah Boyfriend swears by butt-ac. I think as long as you don't act snobby, a "snobby" lifestyle (ie no restaurants with pictures on the menu), is totally okay. That menu thing is a good rule of thumb..
ReplyDeleteI hate butt-ac, but I love a good restaurant. Nothing wrong with savouring really good food, like caviar ;)
ReplyDeleteWhy not enjoy a lifestyle you worked for?
And if you were truly a snob and not checking yourself, you would not be writing about it!
Love your blog!
My kids are still too young for us to dine anywhere that doesn't have pictures on the menus. Sad but true. And Husband is too cheap to shell out the $ for one "snobby" meal when he could feed the whole family for the same price. Sigh....see what I'm working with here?
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha - Don't want to eat at a restaurant where there are pictures on the menu. I so get that.
ReplyDeleteThis is how much of a food snob I am (and I am firmly planted in the bottom 99% of the 99%): I read this and was like: menus have pictures? Then I remembered about IHOP and Denny's. We don't eat in "those" places much.
ReplyDeleteHowever, a bag of powdered donuts is da bomb.
I'd rather eat a roadside diner than eat at Applebee's. And if they have to print a picture on the menu of what the food looks like, it's safe to assume that it probably came frozen from a shipping center in Ohio.
ReplyDeleteyou had me at coochie a/c!
ReplyDeleteYou should add, restaurants with the word FAT in the name.
ReplyDeleteNuthin' wrong with enjoyin' the finer things in life. During medical school my redneck hubby took a likin' to Jack Daniels. Now that he's doin' T and A for a livin' he's drinkin' Gentleman Jack. WHOO HOO!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWow, you're living the dream! Who'd have thunk it---that one day there'd be coochie AC? i bet it helps keep your bum from sticking to the seat too, huh? NO FAIR!
ReplyDelete"I decided right there and then I wouldn't tell a soul."
ReplyDeleteSo you blogged about it. I would give anything for a vagina cooler. WAY better than directing the A/C downward and waving your skirt up and down.
I've found this to be true in a smaller degree, but for me, it was coffee. When I decided to take the leap into self-employment and money became tight, I realized how much of a coffee snob I'd become. I tried the really cheap, ground stuff, but I just couldn't tolerate it. I went back to the whole bean/good stuff and I use the cheap stuff to hold me over if I run out.
ReplyDeleteGreetings from a fellow coffee snob. We spent 9 years in PacNW before moving to the south. Even the Starbucks is sub par here. I bought one of those italian coffee machines. It was more expensive than my wedding dress nineteen years ago. It stopped working after 3 years….and I bought a new one because I just can't stand "drip coffee" when I am not on vacation and forced to drink it. So snobby!
Deleteoooooo I love this. Over the years my Babe and I have become coffee snobs, hotel snobs, grocery "organic" snobs, beer snobs... restaurants are not far behind. Applebees is on our never go to again list. love this.
ReplyDeleteFunny. Yeah. It's amazing how what I buy that passes for wine when are Credit Card balances once again need to be tamed back. I for one love the heating seat function. My lower back does anyway. Sometimes I alternate between cooling and heating. Only in hubby's car. I used my seat heater so much, it's broken. Not paying the $200 to replace it.
ReplyDeleteWell the thing is, when you work hard, you want to reward yourself with better experiences (food, car, etc...) And while that's the "American Dream", people don't like to see others succeed so you can't let anyone know about it. It's very confusing.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I want to get a coochie A/C in my next car!
We are not food or wine snobs, but if we are going out I want it to be something better than I could make at home. Interesting piece, Erin
ReplyDeleteI used to live eating at Chilis. It was a staple of my teenage years. Now I can't go near it without feeling the grease just seeping from my pores and the processed crap clogging up my digestive tract.
ReplyDeleteYou know, everyone is getting hung up on the coochie A/C, and girl I know it is a great thing, but I get your point. It's a little disconcerting to look around and suddenly feel like the landscape has shifted and you're not quite sure when you became the elite, the difficult, the snob. Just yesterday you were whooping it up at Chili's, and now house wine makes your teeth ache.
ReplyDeleteI think you dealt with this topic with humor, honesty, and flair. Very good read. And cooled peaches. Ellen
haha. never really thought of menus like that. great point!
ReplyDeleteThat is a funny comment about the menus. My husband and I have actually gone backwards.. We used to have money and be snobs. Now we have kids and are broke :)
ReplyDeleteI would happy now to eat at a restaurant and not wish there was a pen to contain my children so I could eat in peace. That would be real fine dining.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to be done school so the husband and I can be snobs again. No remorse. Enjoy it.
Loved this post! "blows air up my ass and I like it" - great line! My husband and I are kind of snobby about some stuff. We can, and we are, and it just is. So, if it helps, you're not alone!
ReplyDeleteI would say that anyone who still eats at Applebees is only a very short way down the road to Snobbery. You've got a long way to go :)
ReplyDeleteMy husband have not made it financially but we have become a lot fussier. We wont eat at certain restaurants and we want more and more organic foods.
ReplyDeleteAs someone with a 2.5 year old, we still frequent restaurants with pictures on the menu, but the Mrs. and I love the rare night out where we go to a text-only menu kind of place.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't think of it as being snobby but as enjoying what you prefer. (Interestingly enough my husband said about the same thing when he came in and I mentioned the topic. He also said he wouldn't eat at Applebees either).
ReplyDeleteEven if that did make you a snob, who cares? It's not like you're hurting anyone. I think that anyone who can afford to is going to end up being a snob about SOMETHING, and as long as you don't act superior, I think it's totally okay. I'm DEFINITELY a snob when it comes to food. But I make no apologies for it. And I certainly don't think I'm better than anyone else. I just like what I like. :)
ReplyDeleteI've noticed the restaurant thing too. Especially now that we have two kids, if we're going to go to the trouble and expense of a dinner out, I'd like it to be somewhere decent. And decent doesn't have pictures on the menu.
ReplyDeleteDon't get me wrong, I still enjoy some McDonald's now and then. But the whole mid-range roadhouse/pub style restaurant isn't working for me anymore.