Thursday, June 14, 2012

Spousal Chatter: My Homecoming

You really must read I Effed My Husband Real Good for the background story to this post.

After spending all night wrestling with a restless dog (really, the dog-- not Doc H) in my bed, waking up at 5:30 am, cleaning the vacation home all day until 3pm, and driving home in the pimp mobile (a 1997 minivan with gold rims, the most stylish black bra you've ever seen, and a tear the size of Texas in the leather of the driver's side seat) with two dogs, two kids, a box of Red Vines and a frozen, organic, free range ham (don't ask), we finally arrived home to an empty house at 7:30 pm. Doc H was still at the hospital. We hadn't seen him since Sunday morning and have hardly spoken on the phone.

I put the dogs out in the yard and notice all my flowers and plants have fainted from lack of a clear liquid simply called water. I open the hose and start quenching their thirst.

Twenty minutes roll by and a tasmanian devil spins through and out the back door to our yard only stopping his wreckless spinning to utter in disbelief...

"AGH!!! I just got called to ANOTHER emergency! Hrmpffffff."

Me: "Ummmmm....... hi?"


  1. So are you keeping the van with gold rims for sentimental reasons? I ask because our 2001 van is on the top of the list of things to be replaced when finances allow. I am a sentimental kind of gal, so I may just end up keeping it.

    1. Ha! I wish! No, I'd dump it like a hot potato tomorrow if I could justify the expensive of buying a new one. Besides the minivan we own five other cars. Don't get me started on how expensive car insurance is with 2 teen drivers! We need the van for when we all out together, I decide to move things to and from storage and up to the new house. I don't have to worry about it getting dirty, banged up or chewed up. I actually drive it a lot because it's comfortable, has great gas mileage, takes regular gas vs. premium, and the insurance on it is CHEAP!!!
      Once you drive nice cars around for awhile, they don't seem like such a big deal anymore. I'm thinking my next car will probably be an electric and I really don't care what make or model.

  2. The sound of a pager is never pleasant! Thank goodness for the kids, red vines, and ham to add a little bit of happiness to your day!


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