Saturday, September 29, 2012

Play It Again {My Dad is a Doctor, But He Knows Nothing About Medicine}

Originally published February 27, 2012

I am beyond perplexed.

Obviously, the teen female brain has evolved (I'm not even sure if that is the right word here) since I was a teen. At first I thought it was just me, so I consulted an expert in this field - my mother.  She readily agreed- she was perplexed as well. She confirmed what I already knew... I was nothing like that during my teen years.

I found myself shaking my head in disbelief the other night in the car. Here's what went down:

Teen Daughter:  I have, like, this bump on my head where I got hit during practice.
Doc H:  What happened?
TD:  I got hit by, like, an elbow or something. It hurts. I have a concussion.
Doc H:  You don't have a concussion.
TD:  YES, DAD! I have a concussion!
Doc H:  No, TD, you don't. Did you lose consciousness?
TD:  No, but it's, like, a concussion. I know, 'cause, sooooooo many girls on our squad have concussions!
Doc H:  Really? They all lost consciousness?
TD:  No.
Doc H:  Then they don't have concussions.
TD:  YES, they do!
Doc H:  No, TD, in order to have a concussion you have to lose consciousness.
TD:  NOOOO that's not true.
Doc H:  (laughing) Yes, it is.
TD:  NO, It's not. I know they have concussions. They told me.
Doc H:  They probably have minor contusions.
TD:  NO, DAD! Concussions!

(Little Buddy finally can't take it anymore. He chimes in.)
LB:  TEEN SISTER! He's a DOCTOR! He should know! You're not alway right!
TD:  LB, you don't know what we're, like, even talking about! Mind your own business!

Me:  TD, how can you argue with your father who has a degree in medicine?!
TD:  He's not right!
Me:  You have to learn how to be open to the possibility that you may be wrong from time to time and it's okay to say, "Thanks for explaining that to me."
TD:  Well, that's not right. (sulk, pout, texts away on her phone - probably to her BF telling him how stupid we are.)

We get home. Doc H comes out holding one of his med school textbooks.

Doc H:  Look, TD,  (he reads)..."Concussion affects only mentation, with return of consciousness moments or minutes after impact."
TD:  (rolls her eyes) Whatever, DAD!
Me:  TD, just soak it in and you can teach your cheer friends the difference next time it comes up. They'll think you're so smart! (trying to be positive and upbeat)
TD:  Whatever, it's not like they really care about that anyways. (stomps upstairs)

Dear God, give me patience...


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  1. HAHAHA omg the teenager brain is something else!

  2. Ha... that's funny. I think every teen goes through a "they're always right stage". I might no have grown out of it :0

    Isn't tomorrow Sunday?

    1. OOPS. You're right. I was going to post this on Sunday and my fingers got happy and hit "publish" a day early! I'll fix that. Thanks for the heads up!

  3. My daughter is 13 and already thinks she is smarter than every other kid her age.

  4. LMAO got to love teenagers.

  5. But saying " I have a concussion " sounds so much better than saying " I bumped my head ". It's much more dramatic, and we all know teenagers live the drama. Now it's even better for her " I have a concussion and my stupid parents don't even care". Boys are easier, thank goodness I only had 1 daughter.

  6. LOL, the teenage mind never ceases to amaze or provide a good giggle=)

  7. check Up To Date

    "The term concussion is often used in the medical literature as a synonym for mild TBI, but it probably describes a subset of milder brain injury. The Quality Standards Subcommittee of the American Academy of Neurology defines concussion as a trauma-induced alteration in mental status that may or may not involve loss of consciousness [1]."

  8. My two girls are still young - god give me strength when they become teenagers!! We were never that stubborn growing up were we?

  9. Yes, you sure will need a lot of patience to get you through the teen years...

  10. This is like something directly out of a sitcom--sooo funny (when it is happening to someone else)! When you first got involved you said (almost verbatim) the same words to your teenage daughter that I say to my eight-year-old son on a regular basis. He figured out at the age of three that he was smarter than us and has questioned everything every day since then. Of course, neither one of us is a doctor or in any way close to being a doctor, but we must know SOME things, right?! Thanks for the laugh!

  11. Lol, this is hilarious! And I definitely know what you mean, this happens to me all the time...though not with my children, but with other people I run into. I'm not a doctor, but I am a lawyer and random people try to argue basic legal principles with me like I don't know what I'm talking about! Seriously?? Visiting from SITS


  12. So... apparently... my BIL, who argues with everyone and is an "expert" on absolutely everything, and will argue with you even if you show him the reference proving him wrong... has the mind of a teenage girl? Awesome. Maybe I'll find a way to sneak that into our argument next time...


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