I find myself trying to gear myself up. It's not hard when you know pina coladas and warm sandy beaches are awaiting. This time there's none of that.
I'm sure it will be nice. I'm sure I may have some fun once I get there. It's the getting there. The choosing of outfits, the packing of the spanxs, and tits in a box.
Do you know tits in a box? Do you have a pair of tits in a box? You know, they resemble a pair of boneless, skinless chicken breasts? You use them when there is no bra that could possibly go unseen in that dress?
The last time I used my tits in a box, was for a dress at a destination wedding we attended in Hawaii. Upon a rushed and stressful packing of our hotel room, Doc H was urging me to hurry up. As I was grabbing my suitcases and bags, he asked if I had forgotten anything.
Annoyed, I quipped, "NO!"
"Are you sure? Did you check everywhere?"
"Yes! I got it all!"
Smugly, he nodded his head towards the closet and said, "Then why are your tits in the closet?"
With a "hrmpfff", I retrieved my tits and brought them home in my carry-on.
I wonder how those looked going through the security x-ray.
So, I'm packing them again. . . along with a couple cute dresses, some sexy shoes, eyelashes and spanx.
Smoke and mirrors, people. Smoke and mirrors.
Please post pics of you in the dresses with them on! I might get me a pair.
ReplyDeletewww.delabelle-k.blogspot.com
I'll take some pics and see if they are blog worthy... I'm guessing they won't be, but I'll try!
DeleteHa, I definitely have those- very very useful. Enjoy your trip!
ReplyDeleteI know, right? Can you imagine if I left them in the hotel closet? Disastrous!
DeleteI tried wearing false lashes at home a few weeks ago, (purchased on a whim) and they take some practice to get right. Good luck with your smoke and mirrors routine - it really does take a village to look good doesn't it! Oh, and I do not own a pair of tits in a box.... yet.
ReplyDeleteFalse lashes... at home! You spicy thing!!! LOL!
DeleteI have lots of practice with lashes. I used to wear them all the time when I was dancing. Get them... they help fill out the top.
Whatever it takes...smoke and mirrors work in this house. But my friends and I call them our chicken cutlets. I wore lashes to a big thing recently and LOVED them. Some observant people noticed and complimented, even two male friends, but one of my girlfriends did not. Go figure. I will definitely wear them again for an evening with my tits in a box! Great post!
ReplyDeleteThey are chicken cutlets! Hahahaha!
DeleteI will be wearing mine this weekend for a wedding! haha Seriously what did women do before they were invented?!
ReplyDeletePersonally, I used rolled up athletic socks.
DeleteI've never tried those, but have always been curious if they actually work and adhere properly? Now I'm determined to try them for myself lol
ReplyDeleteThey adhere, but if you're busty they don't really lift, so a loose fitting top is out. They work well for any dress that's form fitting and has some structure to it.
DeleteI seriously need to invest in smoke and mirrors! I've never used false lashes, but always wanted to. I desperately wanted to have that Katie Holmes "...girl next door" beauty only I didn't actually get the beauty part! I finally told my husband that if I ever try to go to an event outside of the home (unless it's the gym)without make-up, he needs to tackle me! He doesn't and I still walk around town like I do not need the make-up I so desperately need! False lashes would help...
ReplyDeleteI've given up wearing make-up everyday since I started seeing a change in my skin. I'm now into any type of rejuvenation technique I can find that doesn't include botox, a scalpel, or burning chemicals. :(
DeleteI love it, and am totally with you on the smoke and mirrors. I'm all for that especially the older I get!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you! I'm so totally with you!!!
Deletetits in a box... must be a girl thing
ReplyDeleteDefinitley a girl thing. If you're a man and need a pair, you're in trouble! ;)
DeleteHahaha oh no!!
ReplyDeleteI'm stuck between laughing loudly, feeling sorry for the poor forgotten chicken fillets and cringing.
Thank you so much for stopping by the I Love my Post hop I look forward to seeing you next week xx
Thanks!!!
DeleteHahaha! I've never heard them described as tits in a box. I've always called them chicken cutlets. LOL They're fantastic though!
ReplyDeleteThey definitely do the trick!
DeleteLove this post! Love the name of your blog too :)
ReplyDeleteI'm now following you and found your blog through life in a breakdowns blog hop, would love it if you had a few mins to check out my blog too http://jo-beautyandthebooks.blogspot.co.uk/
Looking forward to stopping by! Thanks so much for the follow. I hope you enjoy the reads!
DeleteWell the product is looking great for females indeed....the packaging is looking so secure...your post in useful in many regards... :)
ReplyDeleteI used to have those and I loved loved them! Thanks for sharing,hopefully others will know their genius...
ReplyDeleteI feel it's a bit a false advertising, but then I say, "what the hay? He already bought the farm!"
DeleteI saw you on Monday Mingle and just followed you.
ReplyDeletePlease follow me.
http://coupongator2.blogspot.com
Thank you.
DeleteSeeing tits so many times in one post made me LOL... I found you through the hop, and so glad I did! www.beauti-ville.com
ReplyDeleteThank you!
Delete