Monday, November 26, 2012

It Was a Beau Hunk Thanksgiving

Doc H and I survived a milestone over this Thanksgiving holiday. We hosted our first holiday with one of our children's significant other... the Beau Hunk.

I've always had cherry-blossom visions of how this milestone would transpire. The house would smell delicious with scents of turkey, rosemary, cranberry, and citrus. Everyone would be dressed nicely. We would all enjoy a refined dinner sitting around a perfectly set table, complete with fine china, and a Pinterest-worthy centerpiece. However,  most importantly, we would all be excited to share the holiday together, evidenced by the the fun banter and laughter that would round out a fun day of good eats.

We were half there.

The house smelled divine. It was the first comment everyone made as they walked through the door.

Everyone was dressed nicely. Doc H expressed his concern of inappropriate dress to D2.  (If you are just joining this story, the Beau Hunk has a tendency to run around half naked the majority of the time.) D2 promised the Beau Hunk would be dressed. Word leaked instead of his favorite Jersey-Shore-ish tank, he would be sporting his Marine uniform. Overkill, but better that than sporting nipples at the dinner table with the grandparents and my brother's new in-laws.  He showed up in shorts and a tee-shirt. They were clean and with no holes. That was good enough in my book.

The dinner table looked lovely trimmed with my finest china. D3 made sure the place settings were set perfectly, complete with soup spoons, dessert flatware, and the crystal stemware.

While I wanted to seat everyone at one table, I just couldn't do it. I broke down and gave my cheery holiday vision no chance to come to fruition. I was unsure of my decision, feeling guilty of my inability to offer up the benefit of the doubt I had in the Beau Hunk. I was fairly certain the words which would fall from his mouth held the power to ruin my holiday. I instructed D3 to set a second table for the "kids".

The kid's table was set exactly like the "adult" table. I offered up profuse apologies to D3 and LB for sticking them with the Beau Hunk. They were both sweet about it and relented to my harsh request to eat with the lovebirds. I'm sure it will cost me later and I will, indeed, pay my debt to them both.

As the Beau Hunk walked through the door and greeted the family I noticed he had lost weight and is visibly smaller since I last saw him prior to boot camp. As the Beau Hunk greeted Doc H, he noted Doc H's weight loss. In front of the grandparents and the new in-laws, D3 explained to the Beau Hunk that Doc H has been juicing. His reply? "Are you using Dianabol or Deca?". D3 laughed it off and explained, "No! My dad's juicing vegetables!"

I had to walk away, before I found myself asking him if he found his testicles had grown back since he had joined the Marines.

And that was just in the first two minutes of his arrival. I figured if I hurried this all up, I only had one hour and fifty-eight minutes to go.


{Click here for the next installment of the Beau Hunk saga.}




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23 comments:

  1. Classic and worthy of a National Lampoons episode. Happy Thanksgiving!

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    1. Oh, Jeez! And that was just the beginning of the story! I can always count on him for blog fodder if nothing else at all. :(

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  2. I LOL at the Beau Hunks idea of "juicing". You hung in there! My day will come for this. Although, I happen to like my 22 year olds boyfriend at the moment.

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    1. I like D3's boyfriend. He is sweet. I'll be blogging about him again soon. I'm so thankful he's able to bring some balance into the house. I pray D2 leaves for college and finds someone more suitable.

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  3. I am laughing so hard I can hardly stand it. Bless your heart; you deserve a medal. I have two daughters- God help them if they bring home anything remotely close to beau hunk; I will not be as patient and nice. You are a wonderful mother. (And I still think paying him off should NOT be off the table...buy him a place on the other side of the planet without internet connection =))

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    1. Thank you!!
      If we paid him off, I'm sure he would tell her and it would just further push her into his corner. But, I'll say it sounds awfully tempting!! ;0)

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  4. Oh. My. Gosh. What a dummy. I guess we all date the wrong guy at some point. Take heart in knowing that it hopefully won't last, as long as you pretend you don't mind him :P

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    1. At least she's getting "the wrong guy" over with early in life. This has just been going on WAY too long. :(

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  5. Oh, good golly... I dread, dread, dread this time in our lives. Maybe because we waited until we were old to have kids, I'll be senile when they start bringing around people I can't stand...

    Though this does remind me of the time I brought my first college boyfriend home to meet my parents. I know they hated him.

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    1. Ha! Just be ready when they come knocking! I don't know what more we can do. We've done everything!

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  6. Oh my god. How on earth could you keep a straight face and keep it all together after the juicing comment? You are an awesome mother for letting this relationship run its course.

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    1. I just turn away and roll my eyes like our teens do to us all the time. :0)

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  7. So funny! I guess that means he's juicing too, in the other way...College sounds like a good plan :)

    Nice to see you back at Yeah Write!

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    1. That's what I'm thinking. He totally shrunk over the course of the last 10 months while in the Marines.

      Good to be back! I tried a couple of times, but had to re-write and just didn't have enough time in the day to get it done. I hope to keep with it. I love the Yeah Write community!

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  8. I would have had to make the nuts comment out loud at the "juicing" comment. Hysterical!

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  9. I'm a long way from this so I'm happy to read how these things go. Your situation was a good one. I like how you refer to your children and family as D2, D3, LB as if you're moving chess pieces. Great story.

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  10. Awesome! Whenever I read the phrase "beau hunk," I think of Jenny's boyfriend in Sixteen Candles. That alone made me laugh, even before I read the rest of the post.

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  11. This makes me think of 16 Candles. :)

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  12. What an update! He must be some fella if you were relieved when he wore a clean T-shirt and shorts!

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  13. Haven't heard Beau Hunk in a while! Made me smile a Molly Ringwald infused smile. This is epic. Way to make a first impression, Beau Hunk! lol

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  14. Oy... that's a bad one. I hope Beau Hunk was suitably abashed.

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  15. Oh. I never want my children to grow up and date now. Ah!

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