Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Over-qualified and Over-supported

Over-qualified. 

The word has a stinging power to it. I knew it was true.

The job interview was for a lesser position, but a part-time position. These days, part-time work is very doable in my current situation and I'll admit, being back in an office setting sounded appealing to me.

Yet, despite a clearly and concisely worded email outlining my part-time availability, I was called in for an interview.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited. I was! I woke up at 5am to have plenty of time to transform from yoga pants, shelf bras, stubbly legs, ponytails, and college sweatshirts to arched eyebrows, manicured nails, eyeshadow, hairspray, underwire and my most professional looking, designer shoes.

I was ready, prepared, and, if I'm allowed to say so myself, I was looking good. I was looking professional.

Apparently, I looked too professional.

Okay, yes, I was over-qualified for the job.

Within the first ten minutes of the interview, my gut was screaming "NNNNNOOOOOOOO!"

The position wasn't a good fit for me on several levels. Thirty-six hours a week, may as well be full-time. I was not available Monday through Friday.  I could not work evenings if needed, and, yes, I do like to take vacations every now and then.

52 weeks a year? 36 hours a week? Sorry. Not for me.

Then the unexpected. Not only was I overqualified, I was over-supported.

Over-supported.

Excuse me?

They tip-toed around the subject, but let me boil it down for you and paraphrase:
Your husband is a surgeon. He makes lots of dough. We need someone in this position who needs to work as many hours as possible. We don't want someone who is likely to take a vacation. You have enough with just his income. 
At first I was sad. I had envisioned making the call to turn down the job. I wasn't prepared for their call citing over-qualified and over-supported as problematic and me unfit for the job.

I felt spanked. I felt defeated. That was the emotional me.

The realistic me... no matter what they said, I knew I would not be working that position.

It definitely was not the "win-win" situation I was hoping it to be.



22 comments:

  1. I am sorry it didn't turn out like you wanted. But as soon as I read your description of over-supported I wanted to scream discrimination!!!! But I can see from an employers perspective they need their employees to be dependent on them for their survival. I had never seen it that way before, but it seems about right.

    If your desire is to get back in an office I am sure sure the right fit will show up and they will appreciate ALL of your qualifications and maybe even the fact that you don't need them but choose them anyway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm over it. I can see how it will be difficult to find a part-time position being a doctor's wife. They want someone who NEEDS to be there and won't take days off.

      I'm not really looking for a job. This just kind of came about through some of my old colleagues. But once the idea presented itself, I thought, "why not?"

      Oh, well. My yoga pants are pretty comfy. ;o)

      Delete
  2. Doesn't that fall under discrimination?! I would be appalled, even though it was only tip-toed around. Argh, I'm sorry!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did get angry about it, but then I told myself it never would have worked out. I'm not going to waste time and energy over it anymore. It just wasn't meant to be and I'm fine with that now. :)

      Delete
  3. Wow....Moms going through that right now. Dad and I keep saying its not her, but she's so annoyed by it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I was truly and diligently looking for a job, I'd be fit to be tied! I hope your mother finds something soon!

      Delete
  4. Wow...I was selfishly just thinking that I hope this doesn't happen to me when I start looking for jobs! How did they know that your husband was a surgeon anyway? Oh, also...36 hours, 5 days/wk. is full-time in my book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They knew me from when I was working. They called me to see if I would be interested in the position. I emailed to make sure it was part-time. They already new all about me.
      I promise you, if I ever go into a "cold" job interview, I will not mention Doc H. :(

      Delete
    2. Oooh...see, that's not even fair for them to use what they know against you! I guess the upside to this happening to a lawyer's g/f or wife, as opposed to a doctor's, is that a lawyer can use scary words about discrimination and business practices and actually mean it! :)

      (But for real, I'm pretty sure it's not legal for them to have brought up your husband's income, even if they know what it is!)

      Delete
  5. Well, how rude of them! Why is it up to them to decide who is over-supported or not? Maybe your doctor husband's salary ISN'T enough based on circumstances. I mean, I guess it doesn't matter that much since you felt like you were going to turn down the job anyway, but the NERVE of some people!

    ReplyDelete
  6. That sucks. I can't believe that...it's just not rig to say evenif they were thinking it. Put a whole new perspective for us surgeon wives. Quite simply ... Not fair.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought so, too! I didn't offer the information... they already knew about me and Doc H since we had worked in the same circles before.

      Delete
  7. I agree with Miss L. You might have to be mum about what your husband does for your next interview.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't offer up the information. They already knew me and my family life from when I was in the business before.
      If I ever do a "cold" interview, you can bet I'll never bring up my family!

      Delete
  8. We need someone in this position who needs to work as many hours as possible.

    Read: We need someone in this position who is struggling and desperate enough to deal with long hours for low pay and/or terrible treatment and is willing to kiss a little ass in order to keep her job.

    Now, repeat after me: I. Love. Capitalism.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You should call and make a remark about the discriminative nature of their refusal. You may not want the job, by it could make an attitude change for the poor soul who is under supported.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wow. That's blatantly discriminatory. It doesn't sound like a good fit schedule wise or like somewhere you'd want to work anyhow though. I pity the person who ends up having to take that job.

    ReplyDelete
  11. 36 hours a week is not my definition of part-time. Part-time is 20-25ish hours a week. I know employers think things like this, but I'm quite shocked they would be stupid enough to say so, indirectly or not.

    ReplyDelete

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