Breasts and vaginas.
See? Quick and serious.
Notice I didn't call them ta-tas and va-jay-jays or tits and coochies. Why? Because, we're talking about these lady parts in the medical sense today... not as parts we play with.
I found myself commenting on Lab Coats and Liabilities' latest post, Facing the Doctor Reality (read it... go ahead... I'll wait for you right here). Miss L is struggling with her boyfriend's transition into what I call "DoctorLand". DoctorLand is the world in which your Doc H equivalent works many hours away from home. You find yourself alone (a lot), and to make matters worse, Miss L's boyfriend is on gynie patrol. Yep, he's touching other women's private parts. And getting paid to do so. Legally.
|If this turns you on, I think you need counseling.|
Yes, medicine is exciting, fascinating, and intriguing. However, it is also smelly and vile. There's piss, poop, and plenty of other body odors which rival sulfur. Gross. Right behind piss and poop are saggy, old breasts and strangers' vaginas, which in my book are just as nasty. Trust me... I am at an age in which I must roll my breasts up and into their cups every morning. This daily routine makes me an expert in this field.
Have you looked your vagina in the eye, lately? Yes, the vagina is a powerful thing; it's able to spew life. Some will compare its beauty to a flower.
I call bullsh*t on that one.
It's ugly and smelly.
On the exam table, it's worse. Unless it's there for a normal check up, Miss L's boyfriend will be looking at vaginas displayed on an exam table which are infected, dried up, knocked up, or effed up with PP, HPV, or a long and sordid list of STDs.
Worse case scenario: the lady patient finds Miss L's doctor boyfriend attractive. What will the patient do after squirming around uncomfortably as he feels her breasts for lumps and removes the cold, hard speculum after her PAP? She'll switch to another OB/BYN.
How do I know this?
I once attended a woman's networking meeting and this EXACT same subject came up. One lady shared the story of how she had to switch OBs because she thought her doctor was too attractive. Several other ladies nodded in amazement. They had the SAME experience with a local OB/GYN. Imagine the laughter that errupted in the room when we discovered they had all quit the same OB/GYN. Apparently, no one wants McDreamy or McSteamy doing gynie patrol on them.
Women don't want to be touched by strange men even if they are their doctor. Likewise, I think male doctors feel the distain of the encounter and feel equally uncomfortable. If they are comfortable, they've been practicing for awhile and breasts and vaginas are to them just as nuts and screws are to a handyman; the parts' names are suggestive, but nothing pleasant can be done with them.
Breasts and vaginas are merely work parts. Some may be better than others, but none are quite like the ones you have at home.
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