Happy Easter! and Don't Forget!

Happy Easter!

and don't forget

Medical Monday Bloghop

begins at tonight at midnight...

See you on the grid!

Fit Healthy Friday

I've decided to try something new.

Ever since the holidays when I gained eight pounds, I've been trying to motivate myself to lose them. What better way than to group together with other bloggers for some motivation! We are just at the one month mark, so feel free to join us should you care to! I missed last months "Goals" post, so I'm just throwing myself into the mix now. You can, too! Visit Heather at The Life Unexpected for more information.

This past month my goal was to get back on my vegetarian schedule and eat my Weight Watchers breakfast and lunch. That's it.

I won't even bother to break it down into weeks for you, cause I was a big, fat, failure! We were on vacation for a week, and treated to upscale restaurants with upscale desserts that dimpled my butt as soon as they hit my lips.

Yet, somehow, by the grace of the diet gods, I lost one pound.

I'll take it! Thank you, very much!

For April, I'm going to keep it simple since I'm going college hunting with D3 for 5 days over Spring break, and will be out of town for another week later in the month.

Here are my April Goals:

Move More
Make Better Food Choices (since I'll be eating out quite a bit)
When home-
     one Zumba class a week
     WW breakfast and lunch.

Hopefully, I'll be able to report I lost more than one pound next month!!!

Wish me luck!

Excuse Me, But What Just Happened?

Picture this...

Doc H and I sitting in our favorite Mexican restaurant. We are separated from another couple via a short wall and a restaurant privacy screen. We can hear their conversation if we strain our ears, but lucky for them, we're not nosey kind of people.

So, one margarita into the meal, we found ourselves discussing Doc H's latest hospital drama (because, you know... there's always hospital drama). We were chatting quite fervently until our conversation died an immediate death, our eyes locked, and we both stopped chewing on our chips. We leaned towards the privacy screen.

"Did you hear that," I whispered.

"What did you hear?"

"I heard (your name), 'Doctor Smith'!"

Trying to inconspicuously peer through the privacy screen Doc H says, "Yeah, me too, but I have a common name" trying to brush it off.

I don't know who he was trying to kid. I've had to google Doc H a couple of times and have never come across another doctor by the same name in our area. Elsewhere in the country, yes. Here, no.

With the possibility of a patient next to us, we hunkered down, chewed as quietly as possible and kept the conversation at a minimum, trying camouflage ourselves among the chips and margaritas.

Shortly thereafter, Possible Patient's conversation took a bad turn.  One second, Doc H's name was mentioned, the next, obscenities started to fly. Possible Patient's dinner partner (his wife? mistress? girlfriend? who knows?) started calling him every name in the book. You know the names...

Just as we finished paying the bill and were ready to leave, Possible Patient's dinner stood up and said something to him that I couldn't quite hear. She left and he sat, presumably waiting for the check.

As Doc H and I reached the freedom of the parking lot, he was able to speak freely, "Did you see that?"

"What just happened?"

"She just told him he was a effing a$$hole and she was leaving!"

Just then, I noticed her driving right past us as she exited the parking lot, so I point out, "Well, there she goes..."

He looks at me... "That was weird."

Yeah, it sure was.

April 1st is No Joke Around Here!

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April 1st is no April Fool's Day around here!

No, Sir-ee! April 1st is the first Monday of the month, and that can only mean...

Medical Monday!

Get ready to link up and read some great med life stories.

Hear what's going on in our worlds and let us know what's going on in yours!

Be sure to link up as early as you can on Monday and come back throughout the week to look for new link ups. Hop around to as many blogs as you like, leave a comment, and make a new connection and friend!

Let's face it... we all need support and it's great to have a network of support to lean on!

That's what Medical Monday is all about.

See you Monday, April 1st.

No Joke!

No Blood and Guts

I am finally back home,recuperating from a week of hosting a couple of Doc H's colleagues and their wives at our retirement "vacation" home.

I laid down the law right away... no blood and guts talk. This wasn't a conference or an off-site meeting. This place was our oasis away from our normal life where hospitals and patient care rule our daily life. "Here," I told them, "we gain some balance in our lives."

They were on their best behavior. I only had to break up the blood and guts talk a couple of times when I stumbled downstairs finding the men mumbling amongst themselves. Their own wives must have been beating them over the head about the same subject, because they quickly changed the subject.

Every now and then, hospital stories would work their way into dinner conversation, and one thing was  plainly evident. These men, with their salt and pepper hair,  still loved their jobs.

Yes, they are tired. Yes, they will complain about hospital politics, about the slow OR turnover rate, or hospital staff they have banned from their OR or their service.

But more importantly, they will discuss cases with an affective enthusiasm which can only leave you jealous. Wouldn't it be great if everyone was in love with their job?

So, I decided I wouldn't chant my mantra, "No blood and guts. No blood and guts." Instead, I listened and we all scoffed at the stories of over-bearing, famous patients and laughed the insanely ridiculous positions surgeons find themselves in from time to time.

And you know what?

It was kinda fun.

Keep Your Veins, People

Dear Readers,

Thank you for reading my blog. I love you for it!

But, you know what I love you even more for? Offering up your body parts.

For those of you who may have missed it, I've been shopping for veins. I blogged about it and, my goodness, the emails from people offering their veins just came rolling in!

Keep your veins, people. You kinda need them.

But you have extra, you say? Yes, but you're young. Later, as you age, you may need that vein as a conduit for a bypass. You never know.

Besides, we're not merely looking for an arm to stick a need into. And, remember, this is not FDA approved. No we don't want real human veins, we need veins which have been stripped or harvested.

Right now, we'd be happy with animal veins, but even those are to be saved until we are further along with testing.

Since my vein shopping was a fail at the butcher, I am making "veins".

Right now, this is close enough for our purposes at this stage of the game.

DIY veins

After this, we'll be knocking on the doors of the medical school Doc H is associated with for some real vein animal veins.

So, keep your veins, my dear readers.

With Love and Gratitude,

Emma

Got a Plastic Surgeon?

When I married a doctor, I thought... Great! I'll never have to research for a great doctor again! 

I finally got around to asking Doc H if he would make some time in his schedule to accompany me to consult with a plastic surgeon.

"For what?"

"I want to try botox... and while I'm there, I might as well get some information on getting my boobs lifted."

He had a look of disbelief on his face. "Botox? Don't get botox! Botox makes women look scary!" He mentions a co-worker whose face looks like Lake Placid, and can't even close her eyes when she sneezes.

I assure him that's a case of a bad botox job. I don't want much. Plus, it's temporary. He still thinks it's a bad idea.

Well, doesn't he want to hear what the surgeon has to say about the lift?

"Oh, that's what this is all about. You're going under the guise of botox, but really want a lift..."

"No, I really want the botox." He grunts. "Well, can you at least give me a referral to a plastic surgeon?"

"NO!!!" A look of disgust come over his face. "I don't any of my colleagues handling or slicing your boobs! That's just weird."

Oh. He's right. That would be a little awkward.

Rats.

::: sigh :::

Anyone want to recommend a great plastic surgeon to me?

Spousal Chatter: Coffee in Bed

6:30am.  Me, propped up in bed, blogging. Doc H, dressed for work and eating breakfast downstairs.

Then, for the second day in a row, he brings me up a cup of coffee.

::: A girl could get used to this. :::

As he hands over his "School of Medicine" mug in which he carefully concocted my coffee with my preferred blending of milk and sugar, I smile at him. He is such a sweet man!

"Ooooo! Coffee! Thanks, Honey" I say, as I take the hot cup and give the coffee a quick blow before I take my first big sip.

Just as the coffee fills my mouth, my dear, sweet husband asks, "Does that organic milk always smell weird?"

He immediately feels the pain of the stink eye I shoot him.

Quickly, he adds, "I mean, I think it's okay. Organic milk always smells different than regular milk, right?"

GULP.

Conversations with My Surgeon Husband

There are certain discussions that can go on in a doctor's/surgeon's home that could be misconstrued for callous, uncaring, and unkind if heard by anyone who doesn't live inside the home or live a med life. Usually, I notice this as soon as the words fly out of my mouth and pray all the windows in our home are shut, so none of our neighbors can hear.

Doc H is running around the house, dressed and ready to leave for the hospital on an early Saturday morning. I hear him downstairs rummaging around gathering, what I imagine is his white coat, hospital ID badge and keys.

Me? I'm pounding at the keyboard of my laptop, still in bed... writing, because that's what I do.

Unexpectedly, he makes his was into the room trying to be as graceful as he can, offering up a cup of coffee to me as repayment for scratching an itch he had at 5:30 that morning.

That's right. My heels in the air equal a hot cup of coffee. My man is a true gem.

I thank him. He turns to leave while muttering his schedule. He only has one hospital to cover today and one case scheduled in the OR.

"What kind of case are you doing" I ask as he's heading out of our bedroom.

"BKA - amputating a guy's leg," he says as he heads down the stairs.

"Oh, GOOD!" That won't take long at all.

::: GAH!!! Did I really just say that??!! :::

Happies and Crappies of the Week

After joining the inaugural "Happies and Crappies" link up with Scissors and a Whisk, I found my Fridays too chaotic to join in for the last few weeks, so I'm happy to be back in the fold!

This week's Crappies:

• I've been so sick. I sound like a snotty, sloppy, slimy Jabba the Hut. I look like him, too.

• No sick days off for moms. Kids still have to get to school, families still need to eat. Even dialing for pizza was painful, people. I am so grateful to Doc H for trying to help out where and when he could despite being tired from long days in the OR. 

• I felt bad I couldn't really rally myself to join in Doc H's excitement over his working gadget. On the inside I was jumping up and down... On the outside, I may have just cracked a half-smile and mumbled, "That's great, Honey. Congrats" as I honked my nose into handfuls of tissues and hacked up a bucket of phlegm.

• In my sick and congested fog, I may, or may not, have accidentally applied Retin-A to my breasts earlier this week. They may, or may not, be peeling and burning quite a bit right now.

This week's Happies:

• Medical Monday! I had so much fun reading each and every entry! What a wonderful group of people and bloggers!

• Our daughter's senior portraits came in and I'm thrilled with them! They came out so good! I wish I could share them with you. She is so beautiful and I am so proud of everything she's accomplished in school and her sport.

• Doc H's gadget worked!! I'm so excited!! (Not that gadget... get your heads out of the gutter people. Sheesh!)

You Know You're a Surgeon's Wife When... {Vol. 4}

My husband has a tendency to dream and doodle. I do, too, but there's a major difference between my dreams and doodles and Doc H's dreams and doodles... his dreams and doodles tend to turn into dollars. And mine? Well, donuts.

We are plowing through our second start-up journey. Doc H birthed this bio tech device via a doodle. He then carved thedoodle out of foam.

We brought engineers on board.

Prototypes were designed.

Prototype #1 was manufactured.

Prototype #1 was a fail, but it was close.

The engineers tinkered and tweaked.

Prototype #2 was manufactured.

Prototype #2 was put to the test.

And you know what??

IT WORKED!!! It really, really WORKED!!

So, what am I doing, now?

I'm shopping for veins.

Yes... you know you're a surgeon's wife when you find yourself shopping for veins with the same excitement and enthusiasm as if you were shopping for a new pair of Choos!






Click here for Volume 5 of "You Know You're a Surgeon's Wife When..."

Are you a tweeter?? Want to be one?? Find more tweeting friends?? Look no further...

Does Bedazzling Lead to Vajazzling?

D2 came by the house to show me she had just "bedazzled" my old 2000 BMW that I had handed down to her.

For her eighteenth birthday she asked we buy her some purple BMW decals.

My poor, little, cute BMW. It has been customized in a way I don't particularly care for.

With much excitement, D2, invited me to come outside and look at how "cute" the car looked.

I saw these (in purple)

and this

And all I could do is pray...

Dear God,

I hope she didn't get carried away and 

get herself vajazzled.

Misdiagnosed: The MidLife Crisis

Last Spring, I went blonde.  I thought that was my midlife crisis.

I, now, believe I misdiagnosed myself. That wasn't a midlife crisis, that was merely my butt being so bored it needed a scratch.

Now, I believe I'm headed down the midlife crisis slide. Thoughts which only entered my brain under humorous circumstances, are now being pondered... seriously.

Things that never appealed to me, or I considered harmful, now sound reasonable and worthy of some research. Scary words float around in my brain along with question marks prompting me to hold my chin as I ponder each and every one of them as a call to action.

Botox- Injecting toxins near one's brain never sounded like a smart idea to me. However, now, as I see the train tracks burrowing deeper and more prominently across my forehead, exchanging a few brain synapses for a placid forehead seems a fair trade.

Lift- I participated in a hula lesson with my bunco gals last month. They said wear your coconut bra. They did. Mine wore more like the water bags the natives use to haul water in the Congo.

Suck- If I'm going to research a lift, I might as well go for the suck. My arm flaps... well, they suck. If I do get a price on a lift, I might as well find out how much a suck goes for, right?

Tuck- And if I'm going to be thorough in my research, and I pride myself on being an excellent researcher, I might as well get a quote on a tuck. Really, I just need a new belly button. I have pregnancy stretch marks come together to make a nice little star at my bully button. I could do without that star.

Transplant- This is the most embarrassing. My hair is falling out! I used to have fantastic thick mane. No more. My teen daughter stole it. I want it back. BAD!

At this moment in time, my list ends here. But, as mentioned, the midlife crisis seems to be a slide... a long slide. I'm fairly certain more's to come.

For now, I feel content to research. Pulling the trigger my come as I continue the ride on this midlife slide.



I'm getting back in the saddle. 
Have you visited Yeah Write lately? 
Lots of awesomeness going on there. 
You'll want to join in. 
I promise. 
You will!

Medical Monday {March Edition}

IT'S NEVER AN AWFUL MONDAY WHEN IT'S...

Medical Monday!!!

I hope you'll all take a quick second to link up your blog with us.

Medical Monday is an opportunity for any and all medical/med life blogs to link up and meet others. So join us!

Are you confused if you qualify for the party?

If you have a pager interrupting your life... you DEFINITELY qualify!
Do you work in healthcare?

Doctor? Nurse? EMT? Chiropractor? Vet? Dentist? Therapist?

MA? NA? PA? DA?

Are you the spouse or SO of a healthcare worker/student?

Are you a nursing student? Medical student?

Intern? Resident? Fellow?

You get the picture, right? Come on, now... don't be shy! Last month we broke 50 fantastic link ups and we want to keep our group growing!

LINK UP YOUR POST!

Our once a month bloghop for bloggers like yourself, where we can build a community of support and friendship, learn from one another and share our stories and what's going on in our lives.

Here are the rules:

1. Follow your co-hosts via GFC or email.
2. Link up you medical/med life blog. If your blog name does not clearly state how you fit in to the med/med life world, please write a little intro or link up a specific post which clearly demonstrates your connection.
3. Visit at least 3 other link ups, comment, introduce yourself, and tell the your stopping by or following from MM!
4. Help spread the word by using our button on your post or sidebar, tweet about Medical Monday, or spread the word on Facebook! The more the merrier for all of us!

And here's a helpful tip. . .

If you haven't turned of word verification, it's ON. Please turn it off. We'll all LOVE you!!

Not sure how? Click here for instructions.

Complete step one by following your co-hosts:

• Emma at Your Doctor's Wife
• Jane at From A Doctor's Wife
• Heather at The Life Unexpected
• Mandy at The Boyer Family

Want to be awesome?
Post our button on you post or sidebar and help spread the word:

<a href="http://www.yourdoctorswife.com/p/medical-mondays.html" target="blank"> <img src="http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r494/fromadoctorswife/MedicalMonday-001edit125x125.jpg"/> </a>

Want to co-host next month? Shoot Emma an email at yourdoctorswife@gmail.com and be sure to write "Medical Monday Co-host Request" in the subject field.

Now, link up below and have fun! The link up is open through Friday, so be sure to come back during the week to check some great reads!

Are You Ready?

THIS Monday!

We LOVE our regulars.

We LOVE to meet new faces.

We want YOU and your med life stories!

Gripe with us, cry with us,

laugh with us, stress with us,

and celebrate with us as we all

make it over some HUGE hurdles.

It's a crazy life, but it's the one we all know.

Join us... Monday.

Life of Your Doctor's Wife: Damn Those Aneurysms!

Tonight I went on Twitter to curse the aneurysm that blew on my Friday night date night.

I'm pretty sure the owner of the aneurysm was cursing it out too, so I felt he or she wouldn't mind any additional verbal abuse the bastard got over the twitter-sphere.

That damn thing took my big plans and did to them like a baby does a diaper. Shit and piss all over my night.

I had plans. Big plans.

But that damn aneurysm took my boogie out of my woogie, the spike out of my punch, and my date out of my night.

I'm left with stale, red wine, dry left overs, and three-day-old brownie bites.

This bites.

Don't Get Between a Girl and Her Horse

Dear Eagle Scout,

I enjoy having you around, so I'm offering up this word of advice...

Never. Ever. Ever!

Get between a girl and her horse. 

I guarantee you will lose. each. and every. time.

D3 put you in your place today. I realize you're young. I hope you're smart enough to take notice and learn from today's life experience.

If your girlfriend wants to spend five minutes braiding the mane of her horse, just stand by patiently. Five minutes is nothing in the long run. Really. I swear. It's not.

Don't pressure her to hurry up. Don't point out how pointless it is. Don't bother trying to tell her, her horse has a penis and probably doesn't enjoy having a braided mane. Don't do any of that.

...And if you can't... 

I fear this relationship is doomed.

So don't get between a girl and her horse, okay?

Fondly,

Mrs. Doc H

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don't forget! This coming Monday is the first Monday of the month, which means it's Medical Monday! Stop by to link up and have some fun visiting others!