Tuesday, April 30, 2013

The Beau Hunk Saga: It's Over!

This weekend the news broke... D2 and the Beau Hunk are over.

Music to this step-mama's ears!

On Friday, LB just couldn't hold it in anymore. Under his breath, he told me he wasn't sure, but he thinks the ill-fated relationship was kaput. He asked that I didn't say anything, so I kept his confidence tucked safely away in brassiere where nothing can escape.

I has to wait a whole day until I found myself alone with D2 and in a mood to talk. I nonchalantly asked her when the Beau Hunk would be coming home again. After all, prom is only two weeks away and all year long he promised he would be able to take her to her senior prom.

She spilled the whole sad truth. They had broken up two weeks ago and never mentioned it to anyone. I think she was hoping for a reconciliation, leaving us in the dark and minimizing further parental loathing. As if that could happen.

She simply sighed and reassured me, or perhaps really herself, it was okay and she would find somebody else. Despite a flood of questions I had for her, I bypassed the inquisition with simple agreement and a reminder that there are plenty of fish in the sea...

...Better fish -- MUCH BETTER fish.

Click HERE for the next installment of the Beau Hunk Saga 

Monday, April 29, 2013

Scrubs and Nipples

Dear Hospital Management,

My husband appreciates the recent infusion of new scrubs. However, could I beg a favor of you?

Could you please pre-wash new scrubs with a high dose of fabric softener?

There's nothing like lying down next to your husband in bed on a Friday night only to listen to him to him bemoan a four hour surgery in a new scrub top... which subsequently left him with raw nipples.

I think we can all agree... scrubs should not double as nipple sandpaper.

Much appreciated,

Your Doctor's Wife

Friday, April 26, 2013

Fit and Healthy Friday {April}


For April, I'm decided to keep it simple since I would be spending one week college hunting with D3 over Spring break

These were my April Goals:

Move More
Make Better Food Choices (since I'll be eating out quite a bit)
When home-
     one Zumba class a week
     WW breakfast and lunch.

How did I do?

Well, not great, but not horrendously horrible either.

I did move more thanks to a week of college touring, a trip to an amusement park, and taking care of my nephew.

While I did my best to make better food choices, I won't lie. I churro snuck in there somewhere, as well as some, okay LOTS of chocolate. What can I say, except if there was a chocoholic rehab clinic, I would have a wing named after me.

I still haven't made it to a Zumba class, however, I did make it to a massage where my cellulite was kneaded into submission.

I'd give myself a fifty percent PASS on eating a Weight Watchers breakfast and lunch. When we were home, I was able to stick to that regime. Honestly, I think that's what saved me.

Someone give me a drum roll... I lost two pounds this month!

This month, I'm not going to add anything else to my goals. Instead, I work harder to accomplish the goals I have already set forth.

I am only five pounds away from my goal weight.

Wish me luck!

Thursday, April 25, 2013

NBC News: Easy Come, Easy Go

A few days ago, I was on taking a ride on the proverbial Cloud 9.

I had been contacted by a journalist for NBC News and the Today Show website and asked to contribute to a story to which this little blog would be linked.

The dream of having this little blog shed its Pull-Ups and finally try on its first pair of big girl panties was intoxicating!

I enthusiastically answered all her questions. The questions were lofty softballs, and I was able to hit them straight out of the park. My fingers were typing out the answers at the sped only a mother can understand...the speed at which a mother can pee, poop, shower, and dress while her child teeters in delicate napland.

I was ready and eager for this next phase of the game. As I was typing away, I was thinking of all the new med life peeps out there I could connect with and bring to this party of ours. Like I try to be in all aspects of life, I was a step ahead of the game envisioning a larger community and support group.

Then, I begun to think about the journalist. I wondered exactly how much of my blog she had read. I wondered if she had read the "About Me" and "Full Disclosure" pages. Even though my insides told me, of course she did, I decided I should make sure she read everything.

Apparently, she had not. She could not a use my answers without using my legal name, city and state.


I explained I had a duty to protect my family and our livelihood. She completely understood my predicament, and still wanted to use the stories I had offered up. She suggested another option-- use my legal name and NOT link my blog.

Well, that defeated the purpose.

I have never typed out a word on this blog, hoping to see my name in lights.  I begun this blog simply to vent and rebut the common complaints about doctors.

Over time, this blogged morphed into a small, little community of support and friendship both in and out of the medical world. A community I cherish and hope to grow.

So, NBC news and the Today Show came and went.

Easy come, easy go.


Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Doc Talk: Q & A

Since Doc H was on vacation this week and enjoying a few days of solitude, I emailed him a couple of questions for him to answer. I thought he might finally have some time to contribute some insight....

Q: The biggest misconception I had about being an Attending is…  
A: Misconception - "Life gets easier" It actually gets more complicated. You may have more time at home, but the tradeoff is much more responsibility.  
Q: The best piece of professional advice I ever received was…
A:  When starting out, establish your professional competency. Don't take on overly risky cases or practice in a way that could be perceived as overconfident - first do no harm!  
Q: When I was in medical school, I wish I knew…
A: More about the financial issues doctors face; how to negotiate a contract; basic business knowledge.  
Q: When hiring a junior partner, I value _______________ most.
A: Commitment to being a good doctor; always putting the patient's best interest first. 
Q: The most significant stressor of my job is…
A: Juggling multiple demands at once.  
Q: What I most enjoy about my job is…
A: Operating.

Do you have any questions you would like to have answered? Submit them in the comments below. I can't promise how soon he'll be able to answer, but I'll try to get the answers back to you as soon as he answers them!

Monday, April 22, 2013

Surgeons Don't Get Fired...

I learned something...

Barring any massive mistakes
which would include retaining an attorney...

Surgeon's don't get fired.  

Instead, their privileges are not renewed.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

The Complexity of Teens

By nature, teens are very complex individuals. Adult-like on the outside, yet sophomoric on the inside.

They continuously present their parents with dichotomies...

At home, they yell at us, "I am NOT a child!" Two minutes later, "Mom! I can't find Stuffy!!

At practice, they shake you off, motioning for you not to watch. Yet, right after practice is over, they ask, "How did I do?"

They ridicule your inability to grasp modern day fashion. Yet, they will still ask, "How does this look" as they twirl in front of you, only to brush off your answer when you are displeased with the ensemble.

They remind you how lucky you are to have such sweet teens for kids. Yet, later that evening you hear yelling coming from upstairs... "LB! Stop being such a butt-chunk!" Sweet.

They ask for privileges such as dating and driving, noting their responsible behavior. Five minutes later they are running around the house yelling, "Has anybody seen my debit card!?"

These oppositions are a daily occurrences in any parent-teen relationship. They are mentally exhausting. They break you down. You begin to question how these teen beings could be related to you. These possibly could not be the same people I birthed!

And, just as you begin to question, a reminder is set before you.

Today, on our way to school, we heard this on the radio...

We listened as the resilient people of Boston sang the most powerful version of National Anthem I've ever heard at a sporting event.

I teared up, and confessed my emotions to D3. I looked at her and noticed tears in her eyes as she looked at me and simply said, "Oh my gosh, ME TOO!!"

We sat in the car in silence, both sniffling our emotions away.

And all I thought was YES, she is my daughter.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

School Violence: We're Not Joking Anymore

Today, one of our daughter's classmates is sitting in Juvenile Hall.


Either absurd stupidity or he deserves an Academy Award for portraying a sweet teen boy while actually deranged and mentally ill.

Either case, I'm pretty sure his life is ruined and his parents are both mortified and horrified.

In case you are the parents of a Facebooker, I'll let you in on a little secret.... school "Confessions" pages are all the rage.

You might want to see if your child has "confessed" or commented on the page. And, whether or not they have, you may want to use this opportunity to talk to them about appropriate internet usage.

Despite the plethora of school violence news coverage, this "sweet" guy (as D3 referred to him), posted a threat to kill everyone in the school.

"...but, he was just joking, Mom."

After Newton, Colorado, Virginia Tech, Fort Hood do teens really expect us to believe such a remark is a joke? Do they really expect us to respond with non-action?

Don't they listen? Don't they hear us?

We're not joking anymore.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Let Go of the Numbers

I logged on today and noticed I lost a follower.


I'll admit. A year ago, I would've crawled into bed, huddled into the fetal position, and sucked Doc H's famous margaritas from the decade old sippy cup I hide in the deep recesses of my kitchen cabinets for just such an occasion.

That was then, this is now.

A year later, I realize the numbers are not what make or break a blog or blogger.

It's the relationships you forge...

The support you receive...

The support you offer others...

It's not about the numbers.

So, if you find yourself consumed by the numbers, let it go.

Let go of the numbers.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Doctors Give Orders.. {and nothing else}

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of training a new education docent at my volunteer job.

Whenever I meet new trainees, I like getting their background stories. If I can utilize or highlight similarities from prior experiences to help transition to this job, I will. Sometimes, it helps and sometimes, it just acts as an icebreaker between us. Regardless, I find its always beneficial and nice to get to know someone new.

Gayle is a retired public relations liason for our local zoo. A spry and fit 70-something, she was all over learning everything about her new role with our organization. She soaked in all the information I spewed, and questioned me even more. I loved her enthusiasm!

When I dug a little deeper into her past, I discovered before the zoo, she had worked as a critical care nurse for over twenty years. Without me having to probe, she explained why she left a nursing career.

She hated receiving orders by doctors, hated her on-call schedule, and hated the stress of dealing with the families of patients.

So what did she do? She decided she would go to medical school, so she could be the one giving the orders and not have to deal with the other stuff.

Inside my brain was screaming, EXCUSE ME?!

Yes, that's right sweetie. Become a doctor so you don't have to deal with an on-call schedule and patients' rightfully emotional families, because giving orders are the ONLY thing doctors do.

She redeemed herself by following up with a story of a conversation she had with a doctor friend of hers who set her straight.

So she left the hospital and headed to the zoo.

{I know what you're thinking...
            what's the difference? Because hospital = zoo, doesn't it?}

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Size Matters

It not new news. We all know damn well a woman's size matters.

Thanks to those airbrushed magazine covers, many of us females find ourselves doing that iconic, ironic run... you know the one I speak of. We mount that treadmill in an effort to shed those calories which have deposited themselves one our backside, all while watching how to make the most perfect Tiramissou. We run after the foods that put us on the treadmill in the first place!

But, we do it... because the editors of Vogue have told us size matters.

However, today I'm feeling the ground shift. It's not just women who need to worry about the size of their waist, the size of their bust line, or their cup size.

Guys, BEWARE! Your size matters, too!

I can already feel the number cases of penile enlargements increasing.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

While I'm in the Stirrups...

Yes, today is the day for that dreaded exam that includes stirrups, but no horse. Oye.

However, never fear! It's not a day without something to read! Catch my post "Dying the Doctor's Way" over at Doctors' Wives Living. It's a fantastic web-magazine whether you're a doc wife or not!

Monday, April 8, 2013

Universities and Bedsheets

As you may have heard, D3 and I spent all last week touring universities. It was early (she is only a sophomore), but I felt I needed to tangle a carrot in front of her. She just needs a goal as a motivator, and now she has one. The trip did its job. She is high as a kite on one school and knows exactly what she has to do to get there.

This was us... all week long.
The trip did it's job on me as well. Since we were going to cover a large geographic area, we flew to the southern most school, rented a car and road tripped around to visit other schools. We stayed in three different hotels throughout our five day trip.

And I learned something about myself.

I am now a hotel snob, too.

Our first night started out just fine. Priceline.com pulled through with a fantastic room in a very plush Grand Hyatt. Clean room, luxury bathroom, tastefully designed, and beautiful pools. Luxury at every turn.

Me likey...

D3 was in awe of the place. I was blissfully happy.

But that was only one night.

Day two, we travelled out of the area to another hotel, which turned out to be a luxury motel.

Would have been perfectly fine, if only for higher thread count.
When we arrived they were serving a free wine and cheese happy hour, so I couldn't complain too much. The room was very nice, but I verbalized my displeasure with the low thread count sheets. At that point in time, D3 said, "MOTHER! Seriously?!" I felt shame, but dang, the hair stubble on my legs was catching on the sheets all night long.

We spent the next day touring two schools and road tripped to another town and another hotel.

I knew we were in trouble the minute we pulled into the parking lot. The website photo looked nothing like the stark reality of the place. We were in motel hell. It was only confirmed the second we approached the doors to the worn-down lobby.

We checked in, received our keys, and were given a map to our room which face the freeway. As we rode up the elevator to our second floor room, was that mold or piss I smelled? Still not sure.

D3 and I approached our door. The keys would not work. Back to the lobby. Re-progam the keys. Finally, we enter. One step in and I wish we hadn't. Gross, dirty, sticky, moldy.

Not joking.

I text Doc H. He tells me to "watch out for bbs." I'm thinking forget bb guns! There are probably real guns around these type of places! Then I realize he's talking about bed bugs. Ugh!! I didn't sleep a wink.

I was so scared we'd end up like this.

In fact, at 2:31am I called the local Sheraton to see if they had any cancellations.

They did not. We were stuck. For not one, but two nights.

I've never been so happy to be home!

My bedsheets are awesome.

Friday, April 5, 2013

It's Ultimate Blog Party Time!

Ultimate Blog Party 2013

I'm on my way home from a week of touring too many universities with D3. We are tired and killing a four hour layover, yet that does not diminish my enthusiasm for 5 Minutes for Mom's Ultimate Blog Party!

If you are new and looking to kick of your blog, here's the place to do it. This is the party that really kicked my little blog into gear, so don't miss out! I'll be spending the week over there... I hope you will, too!

Monday, April 1, 2013

Medical Monday! and Bravo's "Married To Medicine"

It's Medical Monday and Holy Donkey Shizz Bahlz, I just watched thirty seconds of Bravo's "Married to Medicine" on my DVR, and have already vomited up my lunch.

I've been going to parties at attending's houses for EONS and I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!!

Here are my questions for Bravo:
1. Where did you find these people?
2. Who paid off their school loans so they could buy those houses?
3. Are these women REALLY married to doctors? Because they seem about as sharp as a butter knife. Last time I checked, most doctors are pretty darn intelligent and they like a partner who can hold their end of a conversation... and catty conversations don't count.
4. What female docs hang out with doc wives??? NONE. They are far too busy!!
5. What kind of a surgeon wears Crocs? Patients bleed... A LOT!

Honest to God, I'm offended. According to Bravo, I'm doing the doc wife life wrong. I should be drinking every second of the day. Living in a palace complete with driveway round-about accented with a water fountain akin to that of the Bellagio, dressed in designer clothing from morning to night, living in my best CFM shoes, trying not to choke on my over-filled collagen lips as drama and physical fights between other doc wives happen all about me.

Oh, and let's not overlook the most important doc wife responsibility... Flare up the umpteen candles in your house, and meet your Doc H at the door wearing Fredrick's of Hollywood Lingerie two nights a week, just so he can hug you with his MRSA soiled scrubs, be completely unphased by your lingerie, ask you to open your laptop to take care of some business (and NO,  that is not code for sex), and then have his pager beacon him back to the hospital. And what's the Barbie Doc Wife to do? Smile and say, "Oh, that's okaaayyyyyy....".

I'm sorry, but I call "BULLSHIZZ"! I AM NOT A CATTY LUNATIC!!! Really. I'm not. I think I might even be able to get Doc H to vouch for that. Maybe.

I don't think I'll be watching this show anymore, but did you watch it? I want to know what you think. Really, I do... Like, SUPER BAD!!!

Let's move onto something more pleasing, shall we? {And please, do comment below and let me know you're thoughts on the show!}

Medical Monday!!!

Medical Monday is a once a month opportunity for any and all medical/med life blogs to link up and meet others. So join us!

Are you confused if you qualify for the party?

If you have a pager interrupting your life... you DEFINITELY qualify!
Do you work in healthcare?
Doctor? Nurse? EMT? Chiropractor? Vet? Dentist? Therapist?
Are you the spouse or SO of a healthcare worker/student?
Are you a nursing student? Medical student?
Intern? Resident? Fellow?

You get the picture, right? Come on, now... don't be shy! Let's keep growing and meeting new bloggers, so we can build a community of support and friendship, learn from one another, and share our stories.


Here are the rules:
  1. Follow your co-hosts via Bloglovin (since GFC will soon be defunct), FB, email or Twitter.
  2. Link up you medical/med life blog. If your blog name does not clearly state how you fit in to the med/med life world, please write a little intro or link up a specific post which clearly demonstrates your connection.
  3. Visit at least 3 other link ups, comment, introduce yourself, and tell the your stopping by or following from MM!
  4. Help spread the word by using our button on your post or sidebar, tweet about Medical Monday, or spread the word on Facebook! The more the merrier for all of us.
Complete step one by following your co-hosts:

Want to be awesome?
Post our button on you post or sidebar and help spread the word:

Want to co-host next month? Shoot Emma an email at yourdoctorswife@gmail.com and be sure to write "Medical Monday Co-host Request" in the subject field.

Now, link up below and have fun! The link up is open through Friday, so be sure to come back during the week to check some great reads!

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