The Evil Stepmother

Stepmothers are traditionally vilified, having been boxed into the evil stereotypes perpetuated by aged, yet classic stories. You know the ones I speak of... do I really need to list them all? Didn't think so.

Yet, here I sit. The evil stepmother waiting to receive a text from bio-mom which will dictate my day. Technically, it is "her" day, but I must await her text before I can plan my day. Will I be driving LB to practice or will she? Mind you, driving him to practice takes three and a half hours out of my day because we live further away from the practice site than she does.

I feel like her dog.

What's a stepmother to do? Tell her I cannot or will not drive LB? Tell her it's her responsibility? If I did, she will simply not drive him to practice. I'm not into letting the kids suffer due to divorce.

So, here I sit, waiting for that damn text, so I can get on with my day.

~I'm soooooo evil.~

Things I Learned About Myself When Our College Daughter Moved Back Home

Lordy... Help us. D1 has moved home. Under our roof and, now, I'm exhausted.

While nothing diminishes the love you have for your children, having a twenty year old move back home after a two year absence is, nonetheless, a shock to the system.

I have been so busy, I haven't had time to open my laptop.

Did you hear that?

Me minus my laptop. That's right up there with me minus chocolate. It never happens. Until now.

D1 has come home a different person. Not all bad, but not all good either.

I've learned a few things about myself since she drove her overstuffed, bug-smattered car into our driveway after her three day (read: three days and nights of no sleep for me) road trip home:

one) I have a nose for cigarette smoke
two) I don't like people coming and going out of the house until 3 am.
three) Sleeping in until 1pm annoys me
four) I have a low tolerance for ill-planning and spur of the moment living
five) I really appreciate common courtesy

I realize most of these hurdles are due to her living on her own for two years. Given some time, I'm sure we'll all acclimate to each other again.

I'll give it another hour. I really need some sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of time...

This Monday is the first Monday of the Month! 

That's right...

Medical Monday

Join us!

Father's Day Personalized Gift Giveaway Winner and 50% off PROMO CODE

We Have a Winner!

Congratulations to Natalie Lukens!

Please check your email for further directions to claim your prize! Remember, you only have 24 hours to claim your prize, so hurry!

If you didn't win, don't be sad! Datevitation is still offering a $10 off promo code until June 6th, 2012 to help you celebrate the Father in your life! Simply enter my special promo code "DOCTORSWIFE".  

For $10 (plus shipping) you can have fun creating your personalized coupon book. 5 pages of fun are included, but you can always add more for only $1 per page. 

Be sure to check them out... They have wonderful date ideas, and the cutest and funniest "adult only" pages. Don't miss out!

Thanking all those who have served our great country...

Scrubs on the Ground

I received a most appreciated phone call last Friday...

So I rushed to the hospital to pick up my lunch date

who was standing there waiting for me like this

It was so sweet!!!

We proceeded to have a good time kinda like this...

But, like all good things in life,

good things must come to an end.

After dropping him off at the hospital,

I was driving away feeling like this...

However, as I was driving through the hospital campus

I saw these...

Being worn like this...

Which made me look like this...

and all I could think was...

and continued home when 

this little diddy popped in my head...

And, it's stuck with me all week.

Scrubs on the ground,

Scrubs on the ground,

Lookin' like a fool 

with your SCRUBS

on the ground.

And it makes me want to take a dip in the...

It was seriously disturbing.

Want a personalized Father's Day Gift for FREE? 

Enter my GiveAway!

When Medicine is the Family Business

Over the last few days, I've had the pleasure of visiting with an older family friend who has always lived a life entrenched in the foxholes of medicine. To say I learned a lot from our conversations would be a ridiculous understatement.

You see, she was born into medicine. Ellie is the daughter of a physician-- the former Dean of a big name medical school. Medical school buildings across ivy covered campuses are adorned with her maiden name.

Ellie's childhood was overshadowed by her father's career and accomplishments.

And, yet, Ellie did like many of us girls do... she spent her teen years promising she would never, ever marry a man like her father. Yet, after graduating college and nursing school, she did just that. Ellie married a man much like her father... a doctor.

So, Ellie, the daughter of a doctor, became the wife of a doctor.

Apparently, she believed being married to a doctor would be different then being the child of a doctor. As time passed, she grew to understand the world of medicine is a consuming world no matter what role you played in it.

And while it may be of no surprise to outsiders that one of Ellie's sons felt the urge to continue the physician lineage, she was dismayed and displeased to learn of her child's aspirations to attend medical school. "It's not the life I wanted for my son. It's so demanding and constraining..." she said.

Despite her best efforts to talk him down from his jump into the medical school pool, she finally agreed to support his decision... on one count. He had to serve two years in the Peace Corp. Ellie was convinced he would see the world and return home with a different outlook and new appreciation for what our world has to offer outside a hospital or research lab.

Two years later, upon his return from the Peace Corp, Ellie's son dove straight into medical school.

Now, in the midst of his fellowship, and just a few short months of becoming a newly minted Attending,  Ellie realizes sometimes medicine runs deep in the veins of some families...such as her family... and, now, with our own daughter's medical school aspirations, perhaps our family, too.

"There's not a darn thing you can do about it. Apparently, medicine has become our family business."

Father's Day Personalized Gift Giveaway & Promo Code

{This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Datevitation.com. All opinions are my own.}


Now that we're beyond the glow of Mother's Day, for us moms it's time to start mulling over the choices we have to make our husbands feel special on their special day, Father's Day.

I don't know about you, but buying a fun and special gift for Doc H is so incredibly hard. For this reason alone, I always start researching and looking for gifts over a month early. Sometimes, I am successful and other times... not so much.

This Father's Day, I hit the jackpot! This gift is cute, thoughtful, personalized, and moreover, AFFORDABLE! What more could we ask for?

Check this out...

Doesn't that look fun? You simply chose your cover, the activity/illustration you want, personalize the text for each page and you are done! It is a very simple process and user friendly website. It also gave me some great new date ideas!

I had a fun time putting together Doc H's coupon book. The illustrations are fun. The "For Adults Only" Section is incredibly funny. If nothing else, you should check out there website just for that. If you don't at least crack a smile looking through those "Adult Only" illustrations, please take your pulse to ensure you are in good health!

It's sure to please even the pickiest dad, because it's a very thoughtful gift. I can't wait to see Doc H's face when he sees it! 

Here's the BEST PART! It's affordable! For $20 +shipping, you receive this special personalized coupon book (5 coupons and one extra page for a personalized note). 

IT GETS BETTER! Datevitation has agreed to offer my readers a $10 credit code! That's right... you can receive your personalized coupon book for 50% OFF by simply entering my special promo code "DOCTORSWIFE".  That makes it just a few bucks more than a fancy, generic greeting card! 

Be sure to place your order by June 6, 2012  to receive your discount and a timely Father's Day delivery.

Could it get any better? Yes! Datevitation has agreed to sponsor a GIVEAWAY! One lucky follower will be receiving a FREE, PERSONALIZED coupon book. Enter below for your free book! 

(Please note: Datevitation is currently only shipping the the US.)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The giveaway will be open for entries until Sunday, May 26, 2013. The winner will be announced Monday, May 27, 2013 (Memorial Day)!

Datevitation is perfect for Father's Day and many other special occasions as well. Don't forget about birthdays and anniversaries for your kids, and even your parents! This is the perfect gift for anyone and for any occasion! 

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You Know You're a Surgeon's Wife When... {Vol. 5}

You know you're a surgeon's wife when...

You're still like this

And get blasted out of dreamland by this

Only to strike this pose

and hear words such as

which would make any normal person 

make a face like this

but instead you just roll over 

and try to go back to this

Liked this? 

Catch the previous editions of 

You Know You're a Surgeon's Wife When.. 

and

Click here for Volume 6 of "You Know You're a Surgeon's Wife When..."

The Housewife Porn That Wasn't

Remember my post in which I was basking in the warmth of my own oozing pheromones due to the housewife porn my husband has left for me on our bed?

Well, you better bet your best pair of pretty panties, I was ready to thank him as soon as he finally came home from the hospital.

However, the man was hungry. So we ate... food.

While we ate our dinner, I decided I should verbally demonstrate my appreciation for the housewife porn he left for me. "I really appreciate you folding my laundry this morning before heading to work. Thank you so much!"

He looked up at me, hesitated and said, "I found those in LB's room. The housecleaner must have left them there last week."

{insert sound of latex balloon deflating faster than a centenarian's erection and then crickets... lots of crickets}

Finally, the shock subsided enough I could respond, "Ugh... I blogged about it, even called it PORN! I was sooooo happy."

Realizing he was in an unforeseen conundrum that would effect his nighttime extra-curriculars, Doc H did his best to grasp at straws. "Well, at least I'm honest! Don't I get anything for that?!"

I clenched my fists, crossed my legs, and shut my mouth.





I'm Blowing My Own BlogHorn... You can, too!

We Have a "Surviving Residency" Winner!

This month we had a special surprise offering on Medical Monday! Kristen Math has just published the second edition of her book, "Surviving Residency" and she's offered to give one away to one of our lucky readers!

Read an excerpt from Surviving Residency

Read what others have had to say about Surviving Residency

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Are you bummed you didn't win? Never fear! Copies are now available on Amazon.com. Simply type "Surviving Residency" in the Amazon widget on my right side bar!

A HUGE congratulations to Cassandra J! Cassandra. Please contact me to claim your prize! You have 48 hours to claim your prize, so hurry!

When Laundry Becomes a Turn On

Mother's Day is just around the corner, and I'll admit, lately I've been in a bit of a funk.

I've come to the realization I am not going to be happy staying at home doing household chores. This job is simply not a good fit for me. Bravo to all those mamas out there who do it, do it well, love and thrive doing it! However, as soon as our youngest daughter gets her driver's license, I am sprinting back into the work force!

Perhaps I would feel differently if the kids were still young. Young kids are demonstrative with their love. I've come to understand teens have two ways of expressing themselves-- one syllable grunts, such as huh, ma, why, wha, ish, na, ya, meh, bleh, or overly-dramatic monologues which are usually worthy of a daytime Emmy award.

So pardon me if I don't feel the urge to spend my days laundering their knickers, or worse, feeling like their unappreciated, unpaid maid.

I've whined all this to Doc H. And, apparently, he's been listening.

This morning, on my return home from school drop-off, I came home to this...

... matched socks and folded whites!

That man really knows how to light my fire... and just in time for Mother's Day!

There's more to this story... The Housewife Porn That Wasn't

I wish all you hard working Mama's out there...

... a Happy Mother's Day!

When Medicare Dries Up Faster Than Your Vagina

We've been officially warned by the hospital higher-ups... don't expect much this year. Apparently, the crunch is now being passed onto the surgeon's and their families. Yes, indeed-y. The Medicare well is drying up faster than my perimenopausal vagina.

The Medicare trickle-down economics is no longer trickling, so the hospital decided it was time to call a meeting to announce no physician should expect a raise this year.

Wonderful.

It's not so much the lack of a raise I am lamenting. While a raise would be nice to help diffuse the cost of a second child entering college, a third child driving this year, and another child leaving the public school system for private school, the lack of a raise is not my main concern. Financially, we will be fine. We may have to tighten our belts a little, but we can do it. Don't forget, I'm the girl who lived on Top-Ramen for two years, so I could afford to diaper my child.

I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm fearing the higher-ups will implement a hiring freeze and then our family time will be locked in our current state of affairs.

What state of affair is that you ask?

Oh, you know... the one where your husband comes home
EXHAUSTED,
and EXHAUSTED = GRUMPY
and GRUMPY = NO CONVERSATION
and NO CONVERSATION = NO DECISIONS MADE
and NO CONVERSATION = NO CLOSENESS
and NO CLOSENESS = NO INTIMACY
and NO INTIMACY = GRUMPY (on both our parts!)

It's a full circle cycle that's running more frequently then my washer and dryer.

That's right. Currently, Doc H's department is short one full-time surgeon and he's bearing the brunt of the excess cases. From time to time, I've been asking him when he'll begin the hiring process. He always answers, "Soon."

Well, Babycakes, "soon" is here! Please hurry... get a surgeon under contract before the higher-ups can veto a new hire by pointing to the dried up Medicare well.  'Cause Lord knows the next time we're both in the mood, I don't want to have to point to a dried up vagina!

Teen Tales: Snapshots in Our Memory

There are moments in a mother's life which we capture like snapshots in our memory. When our children are young, those moments tend to be milestone moments...the first time your eyes lock with your newborn, the celebration of your son's first t-ball "homerun", or the proud look on their face when they realize they have been selected student of the month. If you have children, I'm sure you can rattle off many more such moments you've experienced with your children.

Those are the moments which feed us strength and patience through the tough times.

Like all parents, I look forward to these sweet, blissful moments. However, I admit to you, these moments become less and less frequent as your sweet children morph into blasé teens. The enthusiasm in teens is abysmal at best, especially with parents. While they'll whoop it up with their friends over a team victory, as their parent, your heart jumps for joy if they simply crack a half-grin as they look your way (or at least you think they're looking your way - you're not really sure, but you tell yourself yes, that look is meant for me) as you sit up in the bleachers doing your absolute best not to do anything that could be misconstrued as "embarrassing". Death to you for cheering too loud.

Yes, it's been awhile since I've seen that deliciously wonderful look of pride shoot across LB's adorable face. At the age of 13, not much phases him. While I haven't tried it, I'm fairly confident I could tell him we were heading to DisneyWorld this weekend and he would respond with a simply understated, "Cool."

So, to the observant waitress who is either not shy about dishing out compliments or simply blurts out her thoughts as they run concurrently through her mind, I thank you from the bottom of my heart! Your words caused a reaction in LB I haven't seen since...since... I can't remember.

Your words caused LB to straighten up in is seat. He sat straight. He sat tall. He BEAMED with pride, smiling, making contact with both me and Doc H. Furthermore, when you left our table side, LB continued to revel in your remark. It was, indeed, a snapshot memory for me... one I will never forget.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for telling LB, "Oh my God! Your hair is perfect!"

LB's hair doppleganger

Hospital Bag Stories with Katie

Today, I have the pleasure of introducing you to Katie from Moore from Katie. This post of hers made me chuckle. Do you have a good story about what you packed for the hospital vs. what your husband wanted to pack for the hospital? She's looking for some good stories. Drop by her blog to share your stories! Enjoy!

Here's Katie's Hospital Bag...

To Make Sense of it All: 

MY Must-Haves: 

1.  Diaper Bag: I love this color! Source: www.potterybarnkids.com 
2.  ID and Insurance Cards: These are a MUST have for the hospital- to ensure they process your paperwork correctly. 
3.  Cord Blood Collection Kit: This is of your partner's responsibilities and is important to give to your doctor.  Source: www.viacord.com 
4.  Flip-Flops: Many of my friends brought slippers, which got dirty quickly at the hospital.  I chose flip-flops and they were great! 
5.  Bathrobe:  It's important to be comfortable and a cozy robe is a perfect choice. 
6.  Big Sibling Gift: Making your first child feel involved is very important.  Bring his/her gift to the hospital for their arrival! 
7.  iPad: Comes in handy to Skype and e-mail! 
8.  Camera:  My husband was able to capture some beautiful pictures with our camera.  These memories are priceless. 

HIS Must-Haves: 

9.  Some Type of Ball: "To toss around while waiting for labor", was his explanation.  Really? 
10.  PowerBars: My husband assured me that he needed to have the proper fuel for delivery.  Source: www.powerbar.com 
11.  Our pup, Skip: Okay, this is a stretch and I understand where he was coming from but- no dogs allowed! 
12.  A Stop Watch: While my husband thought timing the labor was a good idea, I assured him it would get tossed across the room (by me.) 
13.  Pickles and Ice Cream: Doesn't he realize the cravings are gone?  I mean...really... 
14.  "Neuralyzer": The "memory eraser from Men In Black"...just in case some of the more anatomical memories needed to be erased.  
15.  Comics:  I mean...how many children do I have here? 
16.  Give It Your Spin!:  My husband always kept me on my toes and although he tried to help pack for our delivery, my suggestions were a little more practical.  Feel free to share what your husband brought in the comments section below!

Medical Monday {May Edition} and a Special Giveaway!

I thank my lucky stars I always have at least one Monday per month I look forward to! You all know what Monday that is...

Medical Monday!

This month we have a special surprise for you! Kristen Math has just published the second edition of her book, "Surviving Residency" and she's offered to give one away to one of our lucky readers!

Read an excerpt from Surviving Residency

Read what others have had to say about Surviving Residency

This giveaway is open to anyone in the USA or Canada. You do not have to participate in Medical Monday to participate in the giveaway, however, we hope you will... the more the merrier!

The winner will be announced Monday, May 13th, so be sure to check back on the "Surviving Residency" Facebook page, YDW or FDW blogs to see if you have won! Winner will have 48 hours to claim prize. After 48 hours, another winner will be drawn.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Now, are you ready for a week's worth of great reads? If you're new to our monthly link up, WELCOME and continue reading for the deets. If you are one of our regulars, HAPPY MAY and feel free to scroll down to the little blue link up button. New or a regular, we are thrilled to have you with us!



Medical Monday is a once a month opportunity for any and all medical/med life blogs to link up and meet others. So join us!

Are you confused if you qualify for the party?

If you have a pager interrupting your life... you DEFINITELY qualify!
Do you work in healthcare?

Doctor? Nurse? EMT? Chiropractor? Vet? Dentist? Therapist?

MA? NA? PA? DA?

Are you the spouse or SO of a healthcare worker/student?

Are you a nursing student? Medical student?

Intern? Resident? Fellow?

You get the picture, right? Come on, now... don't be shy! Let's keep growing and meeting new bloggers, so we can build a community of support and friendship, learn from one another, and share our stories.

LINK UP YOUR POST!

Here are the rules:

1. Follow your co-hosts via Bloglovin (since GFC will soon be defunct), FB, email or Twitter.
2. Link up you medical/med life blog. If your blog name does not clearly state how you fit in to the med/med life world, please write a little intro or link up a specific post which clearly demonstrates your connection.
3. Visit at least 3 other link ups, comment, introduce yourself, and tell the your stopping by or following from MM!
4. Help spread the word by using our button on your post or sidebar, tweet about Medical Monday, or spread the word on Facebook! The more the merrier for all of us.

Complete step one by following your co-hosts:

• Emma at Your Doctor's Wife
• Jane at From A Doctor's Wife
• Erin at Home With The Boys
• Heather at The Life Unexpected 

Want to be awesome?
Post our button on you post or sidebar and help spread the word:

<a href="http://www.yourdoctorswife.com/p/medical-mondays.html" target="blank"> <img src="http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r494/fromadoctorswife/MedicalMonday-001edit125x125.jpg"/> </a>

Want to co-host next month? Shoot Emma an email at yourdoctorswife@gmail.com and be sure to write "Medical Monday Co-host Request" in the subject field.

Now, link up below and have fun! The link up is open through Friday, so be sure to come back during the week to check some great reads!

Medical Monday May is Coming Up!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

My favorite Monday is just around the corner...

Medical Monday!

We're all looking forward to getting our fix or anecdotes, stories, triumphs, failures, hospital non-sense, and posts filled with words no one except someone living a med life can pronounce. Let us know what's going on in your world!

Get your posts ready over the weekend for the link up which goes live at 12am Monday morning, Eastern time.

Spring has finally sprung and we're in a celebratory mood around these parts... so be sure to check out our giveaway which coincides with Medical Monday!

Can't wait to see you on the grid!

Break Up Etiquette for Teens/Young Adults

In light of the recent break up of D2 and the Beau Hunk, I have come to realize today's teens and young adults have lost the fine art of "breaking up".

In an effort to educate, I have compiled a list of how break ups should, or should not be handled.

Be honest. Break ups do not happen over silly issues. A silly issue may be the proverbial, "straw that broke the camel's back", but not the truthful reason. 

Don't be crass. Name calling is not necessary -- at any time -- in any relationship. The "C" word is NEVER acceptable. 

Don't be petty. Asking for the return of gifted items is tacky. Exactly what are you going to do with a used designer purse? Give it to your next girlfriend? 

Be thankful when your now ex-girlfriend obliges your break up request and distances herself from you. 

Call off the dogs. Enlisting your batshit, crazy mother to harass and threaten your ex-girlfriend via text is not okay. Your mother threatening to sic her burly, motorcycling, pot-smoking boyfriend on your now-ex is criminal.  

Don't retaliate via social media. Seriously? Have you not read the news lately? It's putting young people in their early graves, and leaves the other sharing a cell with a sexually deprived orangutan named Big Boner. 

BEWARE! Your ex's parents should never have to get involved. However, if we feel our child's safety is in danger, we will. We bring along our own gang... the kind with badges... I'm not talking Girl Scouts, either.  

Stand behind your decision. No back and forths. If you break it off, don't change your mind a week later. 

No guilt trips. Just because a promise was made, such as to "wait for your return from the military", does not give you cart blanche to behave like a cad, treat someone disrespectfully, and yet point the finger at the broken promise. 

Once you've said your peace, abide her wishes. If she wants to disconnect... Disconnect!

Move on. It's over.

{Click here for the next installment of the Beau Hunk saga. Yes, there is more}