Wednesday, May 15, 2013

The Housewife Porn That Wasn't

Remember my post in which I was basking in the warmth of my own oozing pheromones due to the housewife porn my husband has left for me on our bed?

Well, you better bet your best pair of pretty panties, I was ready to thank him as soon as he finally came home from the hospital.

However, the man was hungry. So we ate... food.

While we ate our dinner, I decided I should verbally demonstrate my appreciation for the housewife porn he left for me. "I really appreciate you folding my laundry this morning before heading to work. Thank you so much!"

He looked up at me, hesitated and said, "I found those in LB's room. The housecleaner must have left them there last week."

{insert sound of latex balloon deflating faster than a centenarian's erection and then crickets... lots of crickets}

Finally, the shock subsided enough I could respond, "Ugh... I blogged about it, even called it PORN! I was sooooo happy."

Realizing he was in an unforeseen conundrum that would effect his nighttime extra-curriculars, Doc H did his best to grasp at straws. "Well, at least I'm honest! Don't I get anything for that?!"

I clenched my fists, crossed my legs, and shut my mouth.





I'm Blowing My Own BlogHorn... You can, too!

19 comments:

  1. haha!
    at least he was honest.
    right.
    and that counts for something.

    i cannot even begin to express my elation when my husband decides to step out of his world and help around the house.
    now THAT is him speaking my love language ;)

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  2. Replies
    1. I suppose it is one of those times I will never forget. I was so disappointed!!!

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  3. AWE MAN!!!!!!
    That's what I said out loud while reading this!
    Yes, he does get points for being honest, but I was so disappointed.
    I agree with you - things like folding laundry (when they really happen) IS like porn to us. One day after working a long shift at the hospital, I came home and my hubby had mopped the kitchen floor, did a load of laundry and made the kids their school lunches for the next day. I was speechless and immediately amorous.
    Isn't that sad? lol
    Tell Doc H - forget foreplay, go clean a toilet!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bwah hahahahaha! That should be the title to a post "MEN--Forget Foreplay, Clean a Toilet!"
      If I ever came home to a kitchen floor mopped by Doc H, I would kick all the kids out of the house, strip down naked as a jaybird, and lay spread eagle on said floor. I don't care how long I would have to wait for him to come home. It could eight hours later, and I'd still be there... with the kids scratching at the doors still trying to get back in.

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    2. HAHAHA!!!!! You're so funny. And I'd do the same exact thing!
      Men - they have no clue!!

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  4. Ohhh my gosh that is too funny! Hahaha of course!

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    Replies
    1. Funny and sad all rolled up into one! :/

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  5. I think funny and sad about sums that up.

    Maybe he'll get the hint and actually fold the laundry once and a while? :)

    Haha.

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  6. LOL that is funny! Sad, but funny. He'll keep that in mind next time. My friend came over the other day and cleaned off my counter while she waited for me to come home. (I love her.) and I thought my boyfriend did it, so I was sooo happy with him. And he totally took credit for it! :P

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  7. I bet the next time he sees laundry that needs to be folded he is going to remember what might have been:-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I've noticed he has been unloading the dishwasher more often... :)

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  8. My husband is a surgeon and apparently his thumbs only work in the OR and the bedroom. He is a complete incompetent worm when it comes to folding laundry. But he CAN and has cleaned our house better than any housekeeper or I....

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    Replies
    1. I know what you mean! When Doc H cleans the house it SPARKLES!! He's much better at it than I am. Must have something to do with these A-type personalities!

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  9. Well, that figures, doesn't it? How come men just don't get how genuinely excited we get when they finish chores for us? And I do mean finish. My husband will put the laundry in the washer and the dryer, but then leaves it in baskets so I still have to fold it and put it away. I guess half is better than nothing. Maybe he'll get the point if I apply that same principal to sex?

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  10. Yes, they don't even know. Well, I guess I could be honest and him know a few things too, right? LOL :)

    ReplyDelete

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