Thursday, May 9, 2013

When Medicare Dries Up Faster Than Your Vagina


We've been officially warned by the hospital higher-ups... don't expect much this year. Apparently, the crunch is now being passed onto the surgeon's and their families. Yes, indeed-y. The Medicare well is drying up faster than my perimenopausal vagina.

The Medicare trickle-down economics is no longer trickling, so the hospital decided it was time to call a meeting to announce no physician should expect a raise this year.

Wonderful.

It's not so much the lack of a raise I am lamenting. While a raise would be nice to help diffuse the cost of a second child entering college, a third child driving this year, and another child leaving the public school system for private school, the lack of a raise is not my main concern. Financially, we will be fine. We may have to tighten our belts a little, but we can do it. Don't forget, I'm the girl who lived on Top-Ramen for two years, so I could afford to diaper my child.

I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm fearing the higher-ups will implement a hiring freeze and then our family time will be locked in our current state of affairs.

What state of affair is that you ask?

Oh, you know... the one where your husband comes home
EXHAUSTED,
and EXHAUSTED = GRUMPY
and GRUMPY = NO CONVERSATION
and NO CONVERSATION = NO DECISIONS MADE
and NO CONVERSATION = NO CLOSENESS
and NO CLOSENESS = NO INTIMACY
and NO INTIMACY = GRUMPY (on both our parts!)

It's a full circle cycle that's running more frequently then my washer and dryer.

That's right. Currently, Doc H's department is short one full-time surgeon and he's bearing the brunt of the excess cases. From time to time, I've been asking him when he'll begin the hiring process. He always answers, "Soon."

Well, Babycakes, "soon" is here! Please hurry... get a surgeon under contract before the higher-ups can veto a new hire by pointing to the dried up Medicare well.  'Cause Lord knows the next time we're both in the mood, I don't want to have to point to a dried up vagina!





12 comments:

  1. Ok, not a funny situation, but OMG did this post title make me laugh. He'd better get going on hiring someone before its too late!! Good luck with that though!

    Much love!
    heather

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have my permission to laugh. I was laughing (kinda sorta) when I was writing it, too. ;)
      I hope Doc H can laugh at it when he reads it!!!

      Delete
  2. Love your sense of humor!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gotta have a sense of humor about these things!

      Delete
  3. I'm so excited to be a nurse soon and I know I'll always have job security but all the healthcare things going on right now with medicare and other issues makes it pretty scary to be entering the medical field!

    PS. Love the title of this post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I have faith that things will figure themselves out. They have to, otherwise we're going to find ourself in a serious shortage of healthcare providers!

      Delete
  4. It's amazing how much influence a surgeon has (meaning the new hire). I never would imagine it would affect someone's sex life! Haha, very clever!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, to be fair, my husband is the Chief of his department.
      Hehehe... I just thought it was better laugh, than cry about it! Thank you!

      Delete
  5. A nation full of dried up vaginas is very scary. I'm writing to Congress today demanding more dollars for Medicare.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And remember, dry vaginas are grouchy vaginas. Forget the one letter... better start a writing campaign. If anyone can write something clever enough to get the House and Senate on the same page, I'm sure it is you!

      Delete
  6. HIlarious Emma! I agree with grouchiness on all counts. I hope this isn't just the beginning of what medicine can expect. We can't afford to dry up down here!

    ReplyDelete
  7. LOL. The title and last sentence to this post is too funny. Hopefully things will be on the upswing next year as far as our country's economic state is concerned. Medicare has been a pressing issue for quite some time. But I'm glad that you were able to find some humor in it all. That's a very good thing to be able to do IMO.

    ReplyDelete

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