Friday, June 28, 2013

Spousal Chatter: 100% Divorce Rate

Doc H and I found some time to have a conversation yesterday. Unfortunately, it was not a pleasant conversation.

My aunt called him asking if he was familiar with a particular surgeon who would be working on her.

The Good News: She finished her surgery residency at a renown East coast school*. In fact, the program is so difficult, this surgeon boasted being the first woman to finish the program. 

"Oh, that's great!" I told Doc H. I'm all for women breaking the glass ceiling.

"Yeah, when I was going to school that program was known for their schedule: 40 hours on, 8 hours off... for six years."

I cringed.

He continued, "In fact, they were very proud of their 100% divorce rate among married residents."

Bastards.


* For bragging rights, can anyone name that school??





26 comments:

  1. OUCH. Suddenly I'm thankful ;)

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  2. That doesn't sound like something to be proud of. We avoided residencies with schedules like that. We'd rather come out of residency with our family in tact, thankyouverymuch.

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    1. I totally agree and good for you for choosing something more palatable!

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  3. Not much via Google, but a suggestion that it was Duke?

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    1. Nope, not Duke. It's definitely not something they advertise, but everyone knew it to be true.

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  4. Geez...that is just lovely, bragging about killing their doctor's family life. My DrH was in Boston, probably one of the school's there I'm guessing...

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    1. I know, right??? I guess the hippocratic oath doesn't apply to the life of your marriage. Sad!

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  5. Wow.. That is unbelievable. I can't believe they would be proud of that! I couldn't figure out which school.. but I did find these statistics.. very interesting.

    "Over 30 years of follow-up, the divorce rate was 51 percent for psychiatrists, 33 percent for surgeons, 24 percent for internists, 22 percent for pediatricians and pathologists, and 31 percent for other specialties. The overall divorce rate was 29 percent after three decades of follow-up and 32 percent after nearly four decades of follow-up.

    Physicians who married before medical school graduation had a higher divorce rate than those who waited until after graduation (33 percent versus 23 percent). The year of first marriage was linked with divorce rates: 11 percent for marriages before 1953, 17 percent for those from 1953 to 1957, 24 percent for those from 1958 to 1962 and 21 percent for those after 1962. Those who had a parent die before medical school graduation had a lower divorce rate.

    Female physicians had a higher divorce rate (37 percent) than their male colleagues (28 percent). Physicians who were members of an academic honor society in medical school had a lower divorce rate, although there was no difference in divorce rates according to class rank. Religious affiliation, being an only child, having a parent who was a physician and having a divorced parent were not associated with divorce rates.

    Physicians who reported themselves to be less emotionally close to their parents and who expressed more anger under stress also had a significantly higher divorce rate, but anxiety and depression levels were not associated with divorce rate."

    http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/press/1997/MARCH/199703.HTM

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    1. Those numbers are staggering, but I can't say I'm surprised. I can't tell you how many divorces I've seen... :(

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  6. This is a rumor I've heard multiple times over the past few years, but I've never heard for sure which program it is! I've also heard the suggestion that it may be Duke, but I don't know that for a fact. So sad :(

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    1. Not Duke, but I'm sure their divorce rate is up there!

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  7. Please tell me where this program was so I don't interview there, ha. So sad.

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  8. I know that that was the rumor about University of Michigan's surgery program--I heard that it was higher because people would have second marriages in the program and get divorced as well....But surgeons like to brag about how hard things are.

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  9. So so so sad. And we wonder why Doctors aren't more empathetic. Nope, I just get the age-old "be tough" command when I show up to their office. Grrrrr.

    Education-system, you are not doing something good for doctors. I think we might need a new Flexner report on residency & fellowship programs.

    Abigail

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  10. Eww.... proud of a 100% divorce rate?! So, basically proud that they are training humans to become robots with no feelings or emotional needs? Sounds like a great way to train compassionate doctors who can relate to their patients... Oh wait.

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  11. Even in the uk junior doctors work crazy hours not great for them or the people they treat !

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  12. I don't know the school, but I'm pretty sure I know a doctor that went there. He was an ENT, and bragged to a group of students that he was lecturing to, how no one in his residency made it out with their marriages intact.

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  13. Drexel ? I was engaged to a 3rd year family practice resident. A Russian immigrant whom has resided in the Pittsburgh Area for 22yrs. Recently we had parted ways. Parted ways to the point she was apartment hunting for me while I was at work. This girl owns a bridal shop, has 2 kids 14 and 22. Owns 2 homes, the building that houses her business. Commuted from Pittsburgh to Erie daily . I had walked into a literal trainwreck.When we met, the boy had emotional issues, one time using my face towel to wipe himse When we had met, I had 2 disks in my back needed surery. I was on a host of medicine including Vicodin. After 2 back surgeries, My pain was relieved, I continued to use. I had to, to help the psych damage that had built.. She loathed the fact that I had developed, but illegally called in a script so I had the capability to remodel the bathroom at her gown business. I begged her to help me to withdraw and quit but instead called me "Druggie" and "Junkie" on a regular basis. I spent 3 years maintaining my small business, her wedding gown business and 2 homes while having spinal stenosis, arthritis in the spine and in the end, I lost 55 pounds. I was lied to, used and still think she had a romantic interest at the hospital. I stopped using opiates the week I moved out at her request. Im 44 and met a girl who is 23.It feels great to do "normal" things again. I wish that I could get back the 3 years that were deceptivly taken from me...

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  14. i QUIT med school in my last year, because the STRESS levels are like nothing Ive ever experienced, and I have worked all my life from being a roofer to a fire fighter paramedic. The job in itself is no picnic, tuition is $20k a semester + 10k for bills. $450k total by the time I would be done. Pay is MUCH LESS for physicians. Residency hours and demand is pathetic for the doctors health (body, mental, emotionally and spirit) you have to race to the shower to bed , marriage and kids diminish, eating while walking while racing to the next patient, SLAVE LABOR at its finest. Sometimes during rotations I wanted to put the physicians head through the wall for being such a smart ass, but I understood he was just a person stressed out chronically (they are very unbalanced people--and logically makes sense because of stress and lack of fun time). For me the most upsetting thing outside the numerous hours demanded (where you cant take care of yourself and in haste mode which is very unhealthy) my #1 issue: DOCTORS are pushovers---- they should ALL GO ON STRIKE and demand more money for their time---doctors should have more COMPASSION for themselves demanding less hours AT WORK and more time for themselves-exercise-FUN-and FAMILY-spouse/kids/family and DEMAND MORE PAY for their sacrifice. I will not work in a profession where my partners colleagues are PUSHOVERS which effects my LIFE RESULTS (health happiness being most important). I will NOT be the next Dr that hands out $70k/yr to the x-wife because no TIME is spent on the marriage/family. These nerdy scientists in medicine have NO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE because their is no time for them to balance and quit their minds. The entire process is pathetic and anyone choosing to be a Dr , your out of your mind, better to learn to be a pastor in a church to help people......The environment around you has a tremendous effects on your internal chemistry--this is FACT.

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  15. I do not believe this post. I think it is similar to an "urban legend." This could not have happened within the last 30 years. Why won't you say which program this supposedly occurred at? If you can't, you should admit it isn't true.

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    1. Yes, close to 30 years ago. I can name the program, but my husband asked me not to. Please read my "Full Disclosure: button. I write about conversations with my surgeon husband, my life, my experiences. I am not a journalistic reporter. I do not go about researching facts. I'm just writing what I hear.
      However, I will say I am privy to many conversations with other med school/resident wives and (according to them) they still hear stats such as this floating around as they struggle through their own journeys.
      Thanks for you comment.

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  16. I've heard this said about a number of surgery programs, so it actually doesn't surprise me.

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  17. Residency training is training, a way of preparing you for anything that comes your way after you have left residency. It has to be tough. The key to a successful training is compassionate toughness with intention to produce a wholesome attending in any specialty. I was fortunate in my own training program.

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