Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I'm in my usual quandary...

You see, while most families are preparing BBQs,
(Photo Credit:

delicious red, white and blue treats,
Photo Credit:

 and decorating their homes in patriotic themes,

I am twiddling my thumbs trying to make a decision.

Should I stay or should I go?

Today Doc H begins a six day stretch of on-call duty. That's right, 144 hours of pages.

So, do I stay home over the July 4th holiday, hoping he will have a "quiet" 4th of July where he can come home for dinner? If I go, he'll be alone for six days. Working. I hate leaving him behind. I hate going on a "vacation" while he stays behind to work.

The guilt! The guilt! The nuns should be proud.

Or should I go out of town? I'll be alone, but at least I'll have a pretty view and I'll be able to visit family?

Mind you, all our kids have their own plans between work, friends, travel, etc...

By staying home, I am assuming the risk of spending the 4th of July by myself. There's a good possibility I'll end up spending the holiday watching the Boston Pops Firework special on television all by myself, eating a festive holiday dinner I made for Doc H all by myself, trying to calm our neurotic, firework-hating dog all by myself, cursing the hospital for being open on holidays, cursing patients for needing a bypass on a holiday (I mean, couldn't they just hold it a few hours?) and kicking myself for, again, allowing myself to get into another "hospital widow" predicament.

Should I stay or should I go?



  1. Murphy's Law dictates that he will have a quiet six days but only if you go. So, if you love him, you should leave him.

    1. I love your answer!!!! Wooo Hooo!! It's all in the name of LOVE!!

  2. Tough decision!! How far away would you be traveling? Could you go visit family for a couple days and then be back for the weekend? I would probably go...although I did spend Thanksgiving sitting in a hospital/away rotation hotel room when he was on call last year, but that was only because I had to work the next day anyway!

    1. It's a long 4 hours drive (possible longer if I have to battle holiday traffic), so I wouldn't go for such a short jaunt. I would stay until Monday.
      Oh my! Your Thanksgiving takes the cake!! Your not even alone in your own home! I hope it was a luxurious and nice hotel room!

  3. I feel guilty ;) Hubby is on call today through Sunday, so he will only sleep while he is home. I'm going to see our families and make the most of it since I won't be seeing hubs at all if I stay home. GO!

  4. Replies
    1. Thanks for helping make me feel better about it!

  5. Is there a reason you can't stay in town and get together with friends?

    1. Everyone's left for the holiday. I can't find anyone home!

  6. I am at home waiting for my husband to come home. He was on-call last night--their on-call periods are from 7am-7am but he NEVER comes home at 7am--usually 9 or 10 or sometimes 11am. And when he is on-call he 99% of the time never comes home and usually is up the whole time.
    So he is going to come home after more than 24 hours and he said he got about 3 hours of sleep. And he has to be back tomorrow at 7am. Puts a crimp on the holiday to say the least.

    I know your quandary. Do i just sit at home alone with kids? Trying to do stuff with just me and a 2 year old, 3 year old and two 9 year olds is a bit difficult. Or do i go somewhere else? I try not to get resentful but I get tired of always being alone. My family is about 4 hours away as well. I read their posts about parades and barbecues and fireworks and i feel sad.

    If I didn't have small kids I would totally go.

  7. I don't know how this could possibly make you feel better, but at least I can sympathize (sort of?)

    When you live with the monster known as chronic illness, it seems that you spend every major holiday alone, in bed, with the lights off, staring at the ceiling, wondering if it will ever get better. I finally had the strength and the energy to convince my parents to buy me plane tickets to visit my friends for Christmas. I went for a whole week so that I wasn't drained by a quick turn around trip. And... you guessed it. I spent all of Christmas day lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling, with the lights off, wondering if this was ever going to end. Oh, and eating applesauce because it was the only thing I could keep down. And being thankful that at least my stuffed animal could see me through it.

    Not sure whether to stay or to go, but I'm with you 100%. May you have a happy 4th of July, and may people in your town be safe and healthy so Dr. H can have the night off. :)


  8. I love ndenunz's answer! I really hope you went and are having a great time. Don't make the same mistake I did and think you can have your cake and eat it too...I am slowly learning. A husband who has been on-call and in the hospital for 20 hours straight with new interns and only a bagel to eat for said 20 hour period is in no mood for a cheery wife who is just trying to make a happy holiday - haha! Sometimes they just need to be alone and we can have a better time without them! Happy 4th!


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