Monday, October 28, 2013



It's a weighty word, isn't it?

sup·port (s-pôrt, -prt) tr.v. sup·port·ed, sup·port·ing, sup·ports
1. To bear the weight of, especially from below.
2. To hold in position so as to keep from falling, sinking, or slipping.
3. To be capable of bearing; withstand: "His flaw'd heart . . . too weak the conflict to support" (Shakespeare).
4. To keep from weakening or failing; strengthen: The letter supported him in his grief.
5. To provide for or maintain, by supplying with money or necessities.
6. To furnish corroborating evidence for: New facts supported her story.
7. a. To aid the cause, policy, or interests of: supported her in her election campaign. b. To argue in favor of; advocate: supported lower taxes.
8. To endure; tolerate: "At supper there was such a conflux of company that I could scarcely support the tumult" (Samuel Johnson).
9. To act in a secondary or subordinate role to (a leading performer).
1. a. The act of supporting. b. The state of being supported.
2. One that supports.
3. Maintenance, as of a family, with the necessities of life.

Doc H does all of this for our family each and every day.

Each time he comes home with dark circles under his eyes, a grimace on his face, a hitch in his back from the heavy lead vest he must sometime wear for hours at a time, or a headache from the stress of the day, it kills my insides.

At times, especially since I quit working, I feel like a leach. Doc H must support EVERYONE, even me now, and watching him struggle against the daily medical clinical and administrative grind numbs the soul. His and mine.

He supports an incredibly heavy load.

So, I try my best do everything I can to alleviate any stressors at home. I make sure the kids have everything they need from food to how to write a strong academic paper. I try to cook meals he'll enjoy. I'll try to throw in a funny story here and there, or crack a stupid joke in an effort to make him smile or laugh. And, yes, every now and then, even though I'd prefer a date with the Sandman, I rally - throwing my heels to sky. All this in an effort to make our home a warm cocoon far from the hospital chaos, to provide a small slice of the day more comforting than the rest of his day.

My effort is a conscious one, each and every day. And truthfully? Some days are easier than others.

Lucky for me, thanks to an early morning phone call from Doc H, today has fallen into the "easier" category.

Normally, I won't hear from Doc H at all during the course of the day. He is simply too busy. I've come to understand and accept he is too busy for a "How's your day going" phone call. That type of phone call is so far removed from my life, I've come to consider it romantic.

This morning, I received a phone call which fell into the "I need some support" category. I listened to him vent, and responded with an honest evaluation of the situation. I reminded him that he built that department, and he held the power to change the trajectory of the department if that was what he felt was necessary. I let the high school cheerleader in me come out.

He talked. I listened. And, far from our norm, I supported him...

...and it felt GREAT.


  1. So sweet. I loved this. And you aren't a leach... he would still be doing this even if he was alone. Its in their blood. I'm glad you were able to take the phone call and support him when he needed it. :-)

  2. You are absolutely not a leech. While society doesn't place enough value on the work that is done in the home, you are absolutely as essential a support to your family as Doc H is. No one should ever feel as if they aren't contributing equally to a household just because they don't earn a paycheque...imagine how much it would cost if Doc H had to pay someone to do everything you do!

    (Not to mention that he can't legally pay someone to *ahem* "throw their heels to sky")

  3. You are just as much a support for him as he is to you! Taking care of the kids and everything at home is such an important and difficult role. It's so nice that he can come home after a hard day and just relax :)


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