Friday, June 28, 2013

Spousal Chatter: 100% Divorce Rate

Doc H and I found some time to have a conversation yesterday. Unfortunately, it was not a pleasant conversation.

My aunt called him asking if he was familiar with a particular surgeon who would be working on her.

The Good News: She finished her surgery residency at a renown East coast school*. In fact, the program is so difficult, this surgeon boasted being the first woman to finish the program. 

"Oh, that's great!" I told Doc H. I'm all for women breaking the glass ceiling.

"Yeah, when I was going to school that program was known for their schedule: 40 hours on, 8 hours off... for six years."

I cringed.

He continued, "In fact, they were very proud of their 100% divorce rate among married residents."

Bastards.


* For bragging rights, can anyone name that school??





Thursday, June 27, 2013

Medical Monday News!

Hey everyone!

I realize by now you all know the Medical Monday drill, but I wanted to bring some exciting news to your attention!

You'll want to be sure you link up this month, because next month Jane at From A Doctor's Wife and I will be celebrating! In August, we will celebrate a year of Medical Mondays!

We love the community we've built and we appreciate you all coming to the party each and every month, so we will be hosting a very nice giveaway which will be appreciated no matter what your budget!!!

This giveaway will only be open to Medical Monday participants.

Entries will be earned by linking up in August and you can even earn more entries by linking up this month. If you have friends who are living a medical life, be sure to invite them to the party!

See you on the grid on Monday!



Wednesday, June 26, 2013

A Timely Email That Will Make You Laugh

Unaware of the health issues we've been battling, a friend of mine sent me this joke via email this morning.  I'm telling you, timing is everything!


An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.

One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you." 
The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."





Monday, June 24, 2013

Diarrhea

We seem to have a metaphorical, yet perpetual, cover of June gloom hovering over our family.

After I seemingly left my eyeball on a stick a week and a half ago, the misery continues to run through our family. Late Thursday night, our eldest came down with a violent 48 hour stomach virus--the kind which makes you think two facing commodes placed 18 inches apart should be a regular amenity in every bathroom.

Luckily, our youngest had a tournament which began early Friday morning. He and I left before we had an opportunity to even realize the eldest was ill. We packed up and headed out with our bowels and bile still intact.

At 10am, Doc H phoned me to notify me that he had spoken with our eldest prior to leaving for work and notified me of her symptoms. My mind immediately sprinted through the meals I had offered up the day before. Nothing seemed toxic. I felt pretty confident no spew could be blamed on me.

An hour later, Doc H called saying he might be fighting similar symptoms.

Uh-oh.

By noon, Doc H called me to tell me he cancelled the remainder of his clinic.

Excuse me?

My butt puckered.

The man will work through back strains, neck sprains, awful cold viruses, and even a feverous flu. The last time Doc H called in sick was almost ten years ago when he had pneumonia.

This must be some serious shit.

By the time our youngest and I were on our way home, I realized our house was full of shit and vomit. I declared our house a disaster area. Doc H agreed quarantine was a reasonable course of action. I, and the rest of the kids, disbursed, taking shelter away from home with just the clothes on our backs. I wore no make for two days. TWO DAYS. That's right. I ran around town, to and fro sports tournaments, even had conversations with other parents, scaring their own shit out of them (I'm not blind, I realize I lack in the "natural beauty" department-- it's all smoke and mirrors over here) in order to hold onto my own shit.

Shit.

Two days later on Sunday, we were given the all clear. After Doc H had decontaminated the house with Lysol and our bed with a fresh set of sheets, we hesitantly returned. I found myself holding my breath in the house running outside every 45 seconds for a fresh breath of healthy air.

Today, Doc H returned to the OR with only one meal in his stomach. While his bodily fluids were no longer running amok, he still felt a touch off.

However, the man is always up for a challenge and today, the challenge may just be holding his shit together.

He's a tough shit.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Where' s My Doctor When I Need Him?

As soon as it happened, I knew I was in trouble. However, if nothing else, the week prior I had just proven myself to be a tough doctor's wife, hadn't I?

I still can't tell you exactly what happened. I didn't see it coming. Yet, despite my blindness, I forged on  and continued with my garden chores with one hand over my injured eye and squinting out of my good eye.

Why I continued on is beyond me. I was pretty certain I had left my right eyeball on the branch of one of our pine trees.

After 20 more minutes of one-handed weeding pulling had passed, I realized my eyesight and pain was not going to miraculously fix itself.

I needed a doctor.

Now, considering I'm married to a doctor, you'd think that would be an easy task, wouldn't you?

NO.

You see, I ended up going on vacation with our two youngest kids, my in-laws, and the dogs.

Did you notice who's missing in that line-up?

That's right. Doc H.

My poor man's parents flew half way across the country to visit him and Doc H had to stay behind to man his surgery department and patients, while we all ventured over 200 miles away to our retirement vacation home.

I did my best to doctor myself. I flushed my eye with water and artificial tears. I held a cold compress to  my eye. I went to bed early with the hopes I would wake up in the morning feeling as if nothing ever happened.

That was the longest night of my life. No sleep. No rest. No over-night eye repair. Only intense and severe eye pain.

At 6am, I phoned Doc H before he went into the OR for his first case of the day. I told him my tale, and began sobbing. I needed a doctor.

He advised I go to the local ER.

I woke Doc H's father up and he jumped into action.

I had multiple foreign objects removed from my eye and a badly injured cornea.

The remainder of my "vacation" was spent in a dark room listening to anything on tv while on heavy narcotics... with no doctor in sight.

Where's my doctor when I need him?




Wednesday, June 5, 2013

You Know You're a Surgeon's Wife When... {Vol. 6}

According to Bravo's "Married to Medicine", I'm this...

But, given this...

 Reality TV would have a Doctor's Wife do this...

No wait, they'd have us the do this...

But, those are fake Doctors' Wives.
I'm real. 
I was dropping one kid off and in thirty minutes, 
I had to leave to pick up another.

I had already learned my lesson about 
calling Doc H with car troubles, 
{inevitably, he's always elbow deep in someone's torso}
and calling a tow truck to fix the flat
would simply take too much time.

So, I did what any real-life,  resilient
Doctor's Wife would do...

I took matters into my own hands.


I jacked that puppy up
and changed that effing tire myself.

Feeling pretty damned proud of myself
and incredibly grateful to my father
for teaching me how to rotate my own tires at 16,
I sent Doc H a text...

And, while I scratched myself up a tad
and got my hands a little dirty...


I think I did a pretty good job
upholding the title of Doctor's Wife...


No nail was broken or chipped.

{the real truth}
it doesn't even occur to you to reach out 
for your husband's help when faced with car troubles.

{the lighthearted spin on the situation}
you can change your own flat tire
without damaging your french manicure.

I'm going with the lighthearted version.
If you're a doctor's wife, 
so should you. 



Liked this?
and 




Monday, June 3, 2013

Medical Monday {June Edition}


Lately, I seem to be getting a few interesting Google search terms:

should I date a med student
is it easy being a doctor's wife
is being a doctor's wife lonely
are doctors wife lonely
should I marry a doctor
do doctors want trophy wife

Those are the clean ones. I get plenty of perverted ones, too. But, let's just stick with these for today, okay?

Generally speaking, I'm an upbeat type of gal. When stuff goes bad, I'm usually able to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. My sense of humor is pretty well intact. Had it not been for this gift (and I do consider it a gift), I'm pretty sure I never would have made it this far.

Friday, I had a bad case of the Birthday Blues. Now, I learn Doc H is having trouble finding a colleague who is willing to cover for him for D2's high school graduation. Furthermore, he must take call the weekend of her graduation, meaning there is an incredibly good chance he won't be able to make the party. Forget any notion I had of him helping me with or during the party. 

But....

Before you go in search of your violin or offer to throw me a pity party, I offer the flip side of the coin. 

I have a husband who choses a birthday card which calls me a "goddess", uses words like "love" and "worship", and writes me that the best part of his day is coming home to me. 

If that doesn't wipe the Birthday Blues away, I don't know will! 

So, I leave it to those to make their own assessment if this is the life for them. There's just too many factors. Too many variables. 

You just have to hang tough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



It's June! The Summer parties start here with Medical Mondays! So, let's dump the uniforms, scrubs and white coats and have some fun visiting old friends and making some new ones!

Are you confused if you qualify for the party?

If you have a pager interrupting your life... you DEFINITELY qualify!
Do you work in healthcare?
Doctor? Nurse? EMT? Chiropractor? Vet? Dentist? Therapist?
MA? NA? PA? DA?
Are you the spouse or SO of a healthcare worker/student?
Are you a nursing student? Medical student?
Intern? Resident? Fellow?

You get the picture, right? Come on, now... don't be shy! Let's keep growing and meeting new bloggers, so we can build a community of support and friendship, learn from one another, and share our stories.

LINK UP YOUR POST!

Here are the rules:
  1. Follow your co-hosts via Bloglovin (since GFC will soon be defunct), FB, email or Twitter.
  2. Link up you medical/med life blog. If your blog name does not clearly state how you fit in to the med/med life world, please write a little intro or link up a specific post which clearly demonstrates your connection.
  3. Visit at least 3 other link ups, comment, introduce yourself, and tell the your stopping by or following from MM!
  4. Help spread the word by using our button on your post or sidebar, tweet about Medical Monday, or spread the word on Facebook! The more the merrier for all of us.
Complete step one by following your co-hosts:

Want to be awesome?
Post our button on you post or sidebar and help spread the word:



Want to co-host next month? Shoot Emma an email at yourdoctorswife@gmail.com and be sure to write "Medical Monday Co-host Request" in the subject field.

Now, link up below and have fun! The link up is open through Friday, so be sure to come back during the week to check some great reads!

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